Tuesday, 30 August 2011
I suggest you kill them all and let God sort it out.
A man who could not marry off his ugly daughter visited his priest for advice. "My heart is heavy," he told the priest, "Because God has given me an ugly daughter."
"How ugly?" the Padre asked.
"If she were lying on a plate with a herring, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
The priest thought for a long time and finally asked, "What type of herring?"
The man taken aback by the query, thought quickly and said, "Er,- a Bismark."
"Too bad," the preist said. "If it was a Maatjes, she'd have a better chance.
Here is a tale that illustrates the tragedy of transient qualities such as beauty. Does a girl actually resemble a herring? Why not? Have you seen some of the things walking about these days, particularly on the coastal areas? And even if she does, are not all creatures beautiful in Gods eyes? Perhaps, but if a girl looks more at home in a jar of wine sauce than in an evening gown she's got big problems. Oddly enough, the wife of the priest from the tale was said to resemble a squid, but this was only in the face, and she more than made up for it by her hacking cough - the point of which escapes me.
Download 'The Horrors: Fact Mix' here.
1. T.2. * No More White Horses
2. Tame Impala * Desire Be, Desire Go
3. David Essex * Rock On
4. Connan Mockasin * Unicorn In Uniform
5. Primal Scream * Inner Flight
6. US 69 * 2069 A Space Oddity
7. Gene Clark * Some Misunderstanding
8. Roxy Music * In Every Dream Home A Heartache
9. Bobak, Jons, Malone * On A Meadow-Lea
10. The Beach Boys * Caroline No
11. The Velvet Underground * The Ocean
12. The Beatles * Dear Prudence
13. Aphrodite’s Child * The Four Horsemen
14. Stereolab * Metronomic Underground
Till next time.
Big love. Tourist. X