Monday, 18 April 2011

Andrew Weatherall * 6 Mix. 17/04/2010

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Andrew Weatherall returns for the latest edition of his 6 Mix residency. One of Britain's best loved DJs, Andrew has just finished touring the UK with Primal Scream celebrating the twentieth anniversary of their seminal album Screamadelica. In his latest 6 Mix show, Andrew plays an eclectic selection of music, from folk to rockabilly, via dubby, leftfield beats as well as new work and remixes fresh from his Rotters Golf Club studio in East London. In the final 30 minutes of the show, Andrew throws opens the doors to his 'Sunday night disco' featuring a live 30 minute mix of upfront new dance music including the exclusive first play of the brand new Death In Vegas single 'Enforced Peace.'

Tracklist:
Maestro Ilaiyararaaja * Myakkama
K.X.P. * 18 Hours Of Love
Moon Duo * Scars
The Oscillation * See You Through
Moondog & His Honking Geese * Dog Trot
Pokey LeFarge * Chillin' Cookin' Time In Cheatham County
Higamos Hogamos * Transfusion
MirrorMirror * Love Is the Law
Black Roots * Tribal Roots
Chain And The Gang * Mirror Mirror
Tropic Of Cancer * Be Brave
Kranzo Roses Band * Berne Crematoire
Grimes * My Sister Says The Saddest Things
Siouxsie And The Banshees * Double Life
Davilla 666 * Yo Seria Otro
Timber Timbre * Woman
kurt Vile * Baby's Arms

Sunday Night Disco:

Death In Vegas * Enforced Peace
JR Seaton * Way Savvy (Gatto Fritto Remix)
Maurice & charles * Moroder In Milan
Cut Copy * Sun God (Weatherall Remix)

Download Andrew Weatherall * 6 Mix 17/04/2010 here.

Till next time.
Big love. Tourist. X

Wella: A Warning From History + Wella's 'Just Got Back From T'Caravan' mix.

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Wella: A Warning From History!

(The following is a sample of some of English mythology's more imaginative augmentations on the legendary beast 'The Wepps' that I am anthologising in a four-volume set that Random House plan to publish pending the outcome of the Bulgarian shepherds strike)

The Silkworm:
The Silkworm is an early incarnation of the Wepps that first appears in Chaucer's early cookery books. The Silkworm is not actually a worm of any type but a small bird of no more than 4 or 5 inches that was said to have the power of speech but constantly referred to itself in the third person, such as "He's a great little bird, isn't he?" Persian mythology holds that if the Silkworm appears on the window sill in the morning a relative will either come into money or break both legs at a tombola.

The Flying Goon:
The Flying goon is another early version of the modern day Wepps we all know and hate. Flying Goons were said to be magical creatures with four hundred and 4 four eyes. Two hundred for long distance, two hundred for reading and four independently moving eyes to 'keep toot for any loose change or fags on the floor'. According to legend, if a man gazed directly into the face of a Flying Goon he immediately lost his right to drive in Bensham. The Flying Goon was also known to be a harsh carrier of herpes.

The Prawn:
The Prawn see's an interesting spin on the legend of The Wepps as it is a sea monster! Tales see it located living just off the North Northumberland coast near Holy Island. Most scholars maintain that this was due to The Prawns fabled love of free mead that the Monks would pour into the surrounding waters to pacify The Prawn on it's stroppier days. Killing a Prawn was said to be bad luck: In a poem by Sir Herbert Figgles, a sailor shoots one and his boat suddenly founders in a storm, causing the crew to seize the captain and cut his hair into a fashionable Hitler-sweep in a futile attempt to appease the Prawn. There were no survivors.

The Great Weaponie:
The Great Weaponie is a Greek take on the Wepps legend, with the head of a turtle and the body of a turtle, although not the same turtle. The Great Weaponie is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly awake in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off. The red headed Greek warrior Greggles was said to have awakened Weaponie after six hundred years but found it listless and grouchy, and it begged to remain in bed just another two hundred years. The appearance of The Great weaponie is considered unlucky and is usually preceded by a cigarette famine or news of debt.

The Modern Day Wepps:
The truth of the Modern Day Wepps is, as ever, far less interesting than it's numerous legendary incarnations, it is in fact a large magical white mouse with the words 'Touch Me' printed on it's nipples. The Modern Day Wepps is unique amongst rodents in that it can be picked up and played like a trombone. It is also an expert 'tromboner'. It is also said to know the mayor of Pelaw personally.

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Reet then, after the history lesson on the man that is Wella, here's the business end of things. After months and months of asking Wella to cobble us a mix together for the blog he's finally managed to get off the couch and graft a skin of proper house over the raw sinue and bone of grown up techno that makes the spine of this really very, very good mix! It took what seems like an eon of foot up the arse type persuasion to finally get this but it seems it was worth all the kicking! Enjoy!

Download Wella's 'Just Got Back From T'Caravan Mix' here.

P.S. Cheers to Micky Hell for the pics of Wepps in the wild.
Till next time.
Big love. Tourist. X

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Shark Week revisited + Andrew Weatherall & Ewan Pearson live 'back 2 back' @ The Tunnel in Milan.

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More truths, rumours and the probable historical facts behind Englands oldest and favourite public holiday. Shark Week!! Shark Week is aways an exciting time in Newcastle, and an exciting time all around the world – but have you ever asked yourself how Shark Week began? As you and your loved ones celebrate Shark Week in your local parks, city centers, mosques, hobo jungles and shopping malls, and as you enjoy such traditional Shark Week food fare as gummi remoras and kosher chum, have you ever stopped to consider how long people have been celebrating the Shark, and for that matter, a whole week of sharks? Have you ever asked yourself where this fun family festival first originated? From what dark, insidious rituals did our celebrations arise? What terrifying forces have guided the hand – or dare I say 'fin' – of destiny, scrying a sinister tattoo across the canvas of humanity’s very fate? And where did the traditional jaunty Shark Week ceremonial dance, 'The Mako Knuckler' originate? Well, we don’t know, but what follows is much of what historians suggest is the history of what we know today as Shark Week!

Years Ago. There are not yet any sharks, and therefore no Shark Week.

4,540,000,000 Years Ago. NOW there are sharks, but not any weeks yet. Give it time.

420 Million Years BC. Predating by several hundred million years the arrival of so-called “dinosaurs” (which, translated from the Latin, means literally “Holy Shit, That Thing’s Going To Kill Us”), sharks populate every corner of the Earth and literally rule the oceans. Specifically, they rule with a mix of representative parliamentary democracy and Socialism, often called a 'Sharkocracy'. Truly, this is a golden age, when every week is shark week (by parliamentary Sharkocratic decree).

26,000 BC. Crude cave paintings dating back to this era have recently been discovered in central Europe. Depicting scenes of everyday life, the paintings show Neolithic hunters tracking and killing wild sharks, as well as taming them and riding them like ponies. This has led many paleontologists and historians to decry Neolithic Man as “A bunch of making things up liars.”

5,000 Years Ago. This is when God actually created the Earth (and thus all sharks, and weeks), so ignore everything that’s come before now.

0 AD. A shark is born in Jerusalem, Hosanna in the highest!

1560 AD. Pope Pius IV declares the first known festival which most closely resembles what we understand today as “Shark Week”, largely appropriating a pagan fertility celebration which ran at the same time of year. Protestant reformers decry the holiday for its heathen overtones, but are thankfully slaughtered by papal authorities well before they can harsh anyone’s buzz too bad.

1601 AD. In honor of Shark Week (“Ye Weeke Os The Sharketh”, in Elizabethan English), Shakespeare stages his controversial “Hamlet Versus the Megalodon”. The “Coelecanth Monologue” continues to be rated as one of the greatest pieces of stagecraft in the history of modern drama.

1879. Sharks are officially patented on this date by prolific inventor Thomas Alva Edison, following groundbreaking research conducted at his Menlo Park laboratories in which alternating sharks were successfully sent to a surprised household in Great Neck (There were no survivors). A curious side effect of this document is that, legally speaking, sharks are considered to never have existed before this date. In order to avoid a lawsuit, you should once again ignore everything that’s come before now.

1941. Shark Week is officially declared a federal holiday, largely owing to the popularity of the idea as generated by American novelist Sarah Josepha Hale, and as a stopgap measure to appease ravenous gangs of hungry sharks which had terrorized the expanse of the United States ever since Edison started making them pop out of telephone wires for a laugh.

1954. Following the landmark court case, Sharks vs The Board of Education (there were no survivors), The United States federal government steps in to eradicate segregation in its public school system. A program is instituted which busses sharks from outlying districts to schools which were traditionally attended solely by white and human students. The initiative meets fierce resistance from every branch of society. Strom Thurmond stages a legendary record-breaking filibuster on the Senate floor, stopping only to be violently consumed by a longfin mako which had been masquerading as a Senate page. The radical measure is met with mixed success; sharks are successfully integrated into human schools, but most of them suffocate. Only in an experimental, partially submerged high school in Cookeville, Tennessee did the sharks fare much better, but it goes without saying that the existing student body has paid a price of their own (There were no survivors). The long-standing cartilaginous fish/vertebrate primate barrier on television is shattered when William Shatner, as Starship Captain James T.Kirk, shares a passionate kiss with a tropical bullhead on an episode of Star Trek.

1978. Congressman Jim Walsh of New York recognizes the tireless efforts of Hermine B.Beckett Hanna of North Syracuse, by helping establishing on her behalf a national observance of “Grandparents Day”, joining the holiday ranks of “Fathers Day” and “Mothers Day”. When children inevitably ask their elders “When do SHARKS get a day of their own?”, they are told “Oh, sweetheart, every day is Shark Day … during Shark Week, anyway.”

Some Point Between 1996-2005. Your girlfriend dumps you right around Shark Week, leaving you to face all the happy couples celebrating Shark Week, and all the Shark Week decorations at your local department stores. Even when you decide to sulk at home, you can’t avoid the television commercials just shoving Shark Week in your face over and over again. You start bitching to your friends about how Shark Week is just an excuse made up by Hallmark to sell greeting cards. They humor you.

2007. Right-wing pundits draw attention to a so-called secular “War on Shark Week”. Particularly adamant in her defense of a return to Shark Week values is columnist Gary Bushell, which is understandable as she is, after all, one-quarter shark (on her mother’s side of the family). The Present Day. Shark Week is universally embraced as a choice time to kick some ass and hang loose. There are no survivors.

WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR SHARK WEEK?

2012. Shark Week’s popularity only continues to grow, and by this date is effectively the most popular holiday in the Western Hemisphere, unseating Christmas, the Fourth of July, and a bunch of bullshit holidays like Kwanzaa, Arbor Day and Rosh Hoshannah.

(This is an edited version of the original 'Shark Week' piece which was written specially by Adrien Childs & Steadman from '5 Star' for the 'Tourist' blog.)

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Reet then, music time! A mix now thats been doing the rounds for a bit now and has pretty much been on repeat almost non-stop here at Tourist HQ for the last couple of months, two of our very favourite record jockeys, Andrew Weatherall and Ewan Pearson kick the fire exits in with a mammoth 4 hr + back to back set in Milan. Anyway, enough of our stanky patter and over to Ewan to give you a swift background check on the night in question. "We played two records each all night, Andrew first then me, until the last half an hour of part two where it’s one each. I travelled by train with a kidney infection and without a passport for 13 hours each-way to make this one and I’m glad I did. It was a fantastic night, so thanks to Andrew, Diego, Lele and everyone who was there dancing like a mad thing."

Weatherall & Pearson, live at Tunnel Club, Milan, Pt 1.

Weatherall & Pearson, live at Tunnel Club, Milan, Pt 2.

Till next time.
Big love. Tourist. X