Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Lee's Pants And Other Mysteries Exploded!!


There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from Stowell Street and how late is it open? Unexplainable events occur constantly. One man see's spirits, another will hear mysterious voices screaming 'Haway lasses, come and have a look at Lee's pants!'. What does this all mean? How many of us have not at one time or another felt an ice cold hand on the back of our neck while we were in the house alone? (Not me thank God, but some have.) What is behind these experiences? Or for that matter, in front of them? Is it true that men can foresee the future or communicate with a ghostly being? And after death is it good form to wear deck shoes?
Fortunately, these questions about psychic phenomena are answered in my new, soon to be published book, 'BOO!' I have assembled a remarkable history of supernatural incidents that covers the whole range of psychic phenomena, from thought transference to the bizarre experience of two brothers on different parts of the globe, one of whom had a bath while the other got clean. What follows is a small sample of the most shit-scary and most cellebrated cases I came across during my research for the book.


On Smarch the 16th in 1982 Mr CJ Dubsquat awoke in the middle of the night and saw his younger brother DP Dubsquat, who had been dead fourteen years, sitting at the foot of his bed kicking chickens. CJ Dubsquat being an inquisitive bloke naturally asked his brother what he was doing there, and his brother said not to worry, he was dead and was only back for the weekend. Dubsquat elder then asked his dead brother what it was like in 'the other world' and his brother advised him that it was not unlike Middlesbrough. He said he had returned from the grave to give his elder brother a message, which was that vests and carrot pants are a big mistake.
At that point Dubsquat's wife entered the room to see her husband and his dead brother singing 'Down The Street' by Big Star with great fervor and promptly passed out. As dawn rose, the ghost walked through the wall, and Dubsquat elder, trying to follow, broke his nose.
When I investigated the background to the case I found more evidence to strengthen the argument that spirits have a tendency to be mischevious which a number of noted psychic investigators of some note, attribute to a marked feeling of inferiority they have due to being 'deed'.

Apperitions are often associated with individuals who have suffered an unusual demise. DP Dubsquat for instance, had die under mysterious circumstances when a farmer accidentally planted him along with some turnips.


Mr. Fenton Allentuck describes the following preconative dream. 'I went to sleep at midnight and dreamed that was playing whlst whilst in a feild of chives. Suddenly the dream shifted and, I saw my grandfather about to be run over by a lorry in the middle of the street, where he was waltzing with a shop dummy. I tried to scream, but when I opened my mouth the only sound that came out was chimes and my grandfather was run over.
I woke up in a sweat and ran across to my grandfather's house and asked him if he was going out dancing with a clothing dummy. He said of course not, although he had contenplated posing as a shepherd to fool some of his ememies. Relieved, I walked home, but learned later that the old man had slipped on a chiken-salad sandwich and fallen down in Eldon Square.

Precognitive dreams are to common to be dismissed as pure coincidence. Here a man dreams of a relative's, and it almost occurs. Not everyone is so lucky. In early 1992, Mr R Grimbles of Hendon dreamed he had won 'spot the ball' in the Chronicle. When he awoke his bed had floated out to sea.


Finally, we come to Aristonidis, the Sixteenth-Century count whose predictions continue to dazzle and perplex even the most sceptical. Typical examples are:

"Two nations will go to war, but only one will win."
(Experts feel this probably refers to the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-05- an astounding feat of prognostication, considering the fact it was made in 1547.)

"A man in Istanbul will have his hat spoiled."
(In 1860, Abu Hamid, Ottoman warrior, sent his cap tp the dry cleaners, and it came back with spots on.)

"I see a great person, who one day will invent for mankind a grament to be worn over his trousers for protection while cooking. It will be called 'Abronn' or 'Aprone.'"
(Aristonidis meant the apron, of course.)

"A leader will emerge in France. He will be short and will cause great calamity."
(This is a reference to either Napoleon or Marcel Lumet, an eighteenth century midget who instigated a plot to rub mayonaisse on Voltaire.)

"In the Southern hemisphere a man named Peter Andre will rise with unexplicable powers and become famous."
(No explination necessary.)


Bunch of mixes this week from Brennan Green, Danton Eeprom, Andrew Weatherall and Leo Zero. There's also a pretty amazing 2 and a half hour live Ivan Smagghe mix I'm busy uploading at the mo' that I'll put up tomorrow so keep ya eye's peeled for that one. Also, the Brennan Green mix is in MP4 format so you might need to download a player for it, but I'd recommend that you did as the mix is pretty special. You can download the VLC player here for free to play MP4 format.


New York City DJ and producer Brennan Green has carved his own little niche in dance music's leftfield—between his genre-bending DJ sets and releases on Modal, Balihu, and his own Chinatown imprint, it's hard to predict exactly what kind of otherworldly sonic experience he's about to cook up. On this mix, Green takes it to a whole other level, largely ditching the house and disco sounds he's often associated with in favor of a lengthy psychedelic journey through downtempo, prog, funk, Krautrock, and other sounds on the outer reaches of the aural spectrum. With a protracted moment of silence dedicated to Michael Jackson segueing into a Bruce Springsteen re-edit, it's pretty clear that this isn't the average DJ mix.


1. Supersempfft * Pipe Dreams On A Lilypad
2. The Orb * A Huge Ever Growing Pulsating Brain That Rules from the Centre of the Ultraworld (Orbital Dance Mix)
3. Robert Quine & Fred Maher * Dark Place
4. Rolling Stones * Heaven
5. F.U.S.E. * Dimension Intrusion
6. Air * Modular Mix
7. Kenny Hawkes * Sex Propella
8. Skylab * Seashell
9. Simple Minds * Today I Died Again
10. Brian Briggs * AEO (Parts I & II)
11. Parliament * The Goose
12. Greek Buck * The Music Lover's Butt Is Love
13. John Lennon & Yoko Ono * Two Minutes Silence (dedicated to Michael Jackson)
14. Bruce Springsteen *State Trooper (Brennan Green Suicidal Edit)
15. Ippu Do * IN Side/OUT Side
16. 400 Blows * Perspective 5
17. Ippu Do * OUT Side/IN Side
18. Sons Of Aroa * Be Wise In The Way Of Plants
19. B2 Unit * Riot In Lagos
20. Nu Era * Cydonia
21. Koro Osanago * Mini-Klik
22. Berührt Verführt (Brennan Green/Yas Inoue edit)

Brennan Green * Mix 06/08/2009


A really tasty mix from last year from another of my favourite producers/DJ's Danton Eeprom now. This first appeard on the excellent 'Get The Curse' website and has been a staple on the stereo here at Tourist Towers ever since.

Danton Eeprom * Get The Curse Mix 09/08


A recent mix from Mr Weatherall now. Recorded just last month Weatherall turns in a masterclass in WELL dark and dubby disko. A proper blinder.

1. Jahmarama * Knights of the Occasional Table (Dubmission)
2. Love Of Jah Light * RSD (Punch Drunk)
3. Carbon Dub * Brommage (White Label)
4. Direct Action (Weatherall Remix) * Radical Majik (Rotters Golf Club)
5. 91 Ahead * Chaton (Plak)
6. Cabin Fever Vol. 8 * Bate N’ Lemm (Cabin Fever)
7. Marsalissa * Andreas Toth (CDR)
8. Transposer * Markus Homm (High Grade)
9. Ultimo * Tom Clark (High Grade)
10. Built Back Higher (Radical Majik Remix) * Andrew Weatherall

Andrew Weatherall * Bastard Dancehall Mix.


Strut's newest celebration of Ze Records' rich catalogue is a great snapshot of some of the influential label's classic jams - and it's been in heavy rotation on my CD player for the last month or so. I've always loved Ze's mix of rock and funk and disco and soul and post-punk and the truly diverse and very cool roster of bands. Leo Zero sheds light on even more quality tracks on this promo mix which includes several tracks not featured on the Ze 30 compilation and also acts as a window into Strut's next collaboration with Ze - an album of DJ edits of Ze tunes that include's edits from Leo Zero, Pilooski, Todd Terje, Rub N Tug, Idjut Boys and Optimo. In the meantime get yer groove on to this little mix!

1. Don Armando * I'm An Indian Too
2. Coati Mundi * Say Hey
3. Sweet Pea Atkinson * Dance or Die
4. Daisy Chain * Time to Stop
5. Kid Creole & The Coconuts * Table Manners
6. Cristina * Ballad of Immoral Manufacture
7. Lizzy Mercier Descloux * Fire
8. Material With Nona Hendryx * Bustin' Out (Seize The Beat Version)
9. Kid Creole & The Coconuts * Something Wrong In Paradise (Larry Levan Mix)
10. Garcons * Encore l'Amore

Ze 30 Mix * Leo Zero.

Till next time.
Big love. Moogar. X.


Mexican John said...


Electric Aunt Jemima said...

Is that pic Brennan Green or Lee "O The Lion" Forster?

Moogar said...

Yep. Slightly more than a passing resemblence to fat Lee.