Thursday, 25 June 2009

"Got any drugs or eyeliner?"

drugs Pictures, Images and Photos

THE JURY'S OUT!!

Society today is a regular minefield of social contradictions and conundrums. To help you find your way through this maze of modern etiquette, we here at Tourist towers have prepared a small pamphlet to keep your moral compass pointing to the true magnetic North. Whether you're confused by the funny looks you get for politely holding a door open for a young lady or if you no longer help old women across the road anymore after the rozzers mistakenly twatted you up with tasers and batons thinking you were a mugger that time. So here's part one,,,,

Ten Things That Should Be Noble But Aren't.

1. Becoming Part Of A Jury Of One's Peers:
Wishing to support the system of trial by jury, you give up 10 days of your life. For what? Sitting in a dingy room with 150 other people, waiting a week to get called onto an actual jury and then, when you do, discover that no one can agree about anything. Especially the student who wants to discuss the philosophical nature of evidence and keeps saying, ",,,,, but what IS proof?", because he's not loosing money being here. Resolve to fight for introduction of martial law and Judge Dredd-style on-the-spot executions for all forms of crime.

2. Being A Lady's Companion:
Unlucky in love and in need of an income, you leap at the chance to accompany fat old rich woman on tours of Riviera hotels and trips on the Queen Mary. Realise reality also involves games of cribbage, whatever that is, fetching large Campari and sodas, holding poodle while fat old rich woman glares at people over their lorgnettes, whatever they are. Eventually run off with unsuitable younger woman and live in sin in Bensham.

3. Lions:
The Noblest of beasts, if by 'noble' you mean lying around in lion shit all day yawning and occasionally trying to mate with a lioness who is knackered after downing endless gazelles. If they were human, lions would spend all day watching Sky Sports, farting and breaking the monotony by ordering the odd curry.

4. Lords:
Called 'Nobs' not because it's short for 'Nobility' but because the resemble penises, both morally and physically.

5. Savages:
When Jean-Jacques Rousseau invented the concept of the 'noble savage', he clearly had never met any Cockneys. Black cab drivers are still pissed off about swapping Whitechapel for some beads.

6. Refusing To Fight In An Unjust War:
Being a pacifist for religious or moral reasons, decide not to fight the Hun or whoever. Imagine will be called to join ambulance brigade and, wearing steel rimmed specs, will save life rather than end it, occasionally stopping to curse some general and damn this pointless war. However, instead of all that, and copping off with a pretty nurse as well, spend war down a coal mine with some cowards.

7. If A Cricketer, Playing Up And Playing The Game:
It's not about winning because Englands cricket team couldn't beat a team of blind living torsos.

8. Fighting A Duel to Protect A Lady's Honour:
On hearing a slight on a beautiful woman you have never really met but quite Fancy and - because you went to public school - admire from afar, you challenge shaven-headed man with monocle to duel on heath at dawn. Get shot. Die.

9. Enduring Surgery Under Primitive Battlefield Conditions:
"Ow! Ow! Stop sawing my leg off! Ow! Ooo,,,, is that whisky? Glug! Glug! Carry on. my good man! And have the other one while you're at it."

10. Loving Someone And Therefore Setting Them Free, As In The Sting Song:
Never ever take advice from Sting as he's a cunt. If you love someone, lock them securely in the cellar.

me black Pictures, Images and Photos

Reet, I'll get the tunes underway now! 1st up, an absolute Bovril - love it or hate - track. A terribly cheesey cover of The Yardbirds, "For Your Love" by the German disco group 'Chilly' from from waaaaaaay back in 83', when laces were fat and Jacko was black. Yush! The version I've posted is the full 11 minute extended mix, but for any diggers out there, a friend of mine has since informed me that there are a number of good re-edits/remixes of this that have been doing the rounds for a while,, with the edit by 'Phantom Slasher' aka 'The Idjut Boys', called 'Lasagna For 10' being the pick of the bunch, (it goes without saying that the inevitable 'Todd Terje' edit is out there too!) Anyway, in it's original form it remains one of the greatest or tackiest records you'll hear this year.
I was blissfully unaware of the existence of this record until a few years back when I was at a party and out of the blue someone whipped this bad boy out and slapped it on the ol' twelve-ten. I was particularly,,,, errrm, 'chemically imbalanced' at the time and my reaction on first hearing this was, well,,,,, lets just say it was the most confused I've been since my first wank. Regarde,,,,,

Chilly - For Your Love

We're staying in Europe for some more disco goodies, digging into the Italo disco crates to hear the Italian twist on the disco sound. This one is the only thing I could think of that was nuts enough to follow on from that Chilly track, as Massimo Barsotti does an Italo cover of Led Zeppelin's 'Whole Lotta Love.' Now to say I'm a huge fan of 'The Zep' is the subject of numerous rambling similies that I won't subject you to right now. So the prospect of another cheap disco cover of one of their songs? To be fair, it idn't sound too promising! However, it was recommended to me by a good, reliable source so I thought I'd give it a listen, and hey presto this one has all the markings of a proper burning Italo track - really weird, sleazy vocals, wailing synths, barebones drum machines, sexy and messy. I've posted the instrumental here which is even sicker than the vocal, with an extra minute and a half of synth magic. There's also the occasional vocal moment, but this one's definitely for those not loving the vocals though.

Massimo Barsotti - Whole Lotta Love (Another Version)

Next up it's a rather decent, if somewhat basic remix of the Kate Bush classic 'Running Up That Hill' that puts a lot of other more elaborate attempts to shame. There’s been a shit-load of remixes and bootlegs of this over the years and everyone from Patrick Wolf to Sonic Youth via Placebo have chanced their hands at covering it with varying degrees of success. This mix from 4 or 5 years back now still stands out for me though. It’s quite minimal as far as how much has been changed and as a result the track remains very light and of course very good.

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill. (Datassette Remix)

Holy Ghost! are New Yorkers Nick Millhiser and Alex Frankel, the critically-heralded DJ and production duo, mainly known for the track 'Hold On' released on DFA a couple of years back. Well since then they've been busy putting a full album of their own material together, soon to be released on the afore mentioned DFA label, as well as knocking out some rather tasty remixes for for the likes of The Panthers, MGMT, Cut Copy and Phoenix. 'I Will Come Back' is their first original release since 'Hold On' and Millhiser and Frankel have stayed true to their melodic, throwback style and love for old-school 80's synth-pop on this. Even the video pays homage to New Order being a remake of the promo for 'Confusion.' Complete with Arthur Baker reprising his cameo role.

Holy Ghost! - I Will Come Back (Original Version)

Staying with the New York disco vibes for a moment with a B 52's edit from Mike Simionetti. Simonetti is the co founder of the well heeled and respected 'Troubleman Unlimited' record label and the 'Italians Do It Better' blog/label. Something of a legend of the scene, Simionetti grew up a hardcore punk kid in the New York straight edge/hardcore scene in the mid 1980s and founded 'Troubleman Records' - releasing records by the likes of Erase Errata, Glass Candy, Black Dice, Wolf Eyes, Pixeltan, Chromatics and Devendra Banhardt. Simonetti also ran the weekly 'Contort Yourself' night in NY where he cut his teeth reviving old disco and post punk records for the crowds. During that time Mike was also a resident DJ at the infamous 'Happy Birthday Hideout' loft parties in Brooklyn with James Murphy. In 2003, Mike and Chris Catalyst, his partner from Happy Birthday Hideout started 'Aerosol Burns' a weekly party where bands like Glass Candy, The Fall, The Gossip, Excepter, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and LCD Soundsystem all played surprise shows in the tiny venue that only held 100 or so people. With the party's running way into the next morning it was only a matter of time before it was closed down by the strict New York club licencing authority's. Simonetti is now probably best known for the sub-label based on a blog he started though. 'Italians Do It Better' was meant to be a record collectors blog that would be a bit of a light relief for him, but it soon turned into a full time label focusing strictly on limited run 12"s by his favorite producers, groups, and remixers.

The B 52's - Mess Of A Tainian (Mike Simionetti Edit)

After posting the brilliant 'Tiedye' remix of DJ Kaos the other week I've dug out the only other record I had by them and posted that. To be honest, the only thing I know about this track on the ever reliable 'Italians Do It Better' imprint is that according to the label 'Rubies' are Simone Rubi and Terri Loewenthal and after a bit of 'net digging I found that they released an album back in May of 2008. I bought this last summer while having a mooch about in Phonica, it's another track on the tail end that whole Scandinavian downtempo/synth sound. The remix is very much in the Lindstrom, Air France and Quiet Village vein with the Tiedye mob adding some WELL moody spaced out synths and breathy vocals from Feist. A proper cracking bit of kit.

Rubies Featuring Fiest - I Feel Electric (Tiedye Remix)

I'm betting my best Pirate parrot that if you like the Rubies or Tiedye stuff then you'll go ape for this next track too. It came up in a conversation I was having over a couple of bevvys just yesterday with my good lady wife the Leopard and reminded me what a belting track it is. Marius Vareid is a longtime collaborator of Prins Thomas' and has released stuff in various guises on his 'Full Pupp' label. I picked this up after hearing someone play it at a night in Leeds that Gerd Jansen was supposed to be on at last Christmas. Yes, I had to do the whole pantomime of sidling up to the DJ booth seemingly nonchalantly to try and clock the record but, after being outwitted for some 5 minutes by the tricky aversion tactics employed by the DJ/record (spinning around at 33 rpm). I gave up and just hassled the poor bloke till he told me what it was. Anyway, just so you need never suffer that embarrassment I've bunged it on here. Enjoy.

Marius Vareid - Skumle Planer

Now onto more familiar musical territory for me, with my stock and trade being dark-dubby slow-mo techno thank-you-very-much-for-asking! A track from one of my favourite labels of the last few years, Andy Blakes fantastic 'Dissident' imprint. If the likes of Emperor Machine, Danton Eeprom, Discodeine, the more techno productions from Mark E and Richard Sen's 'Padded Cell' guise float your musical boat then this'll be right up your street. On the release bumpf that came with this the label tell us this is quite possibly the best record they have ever released and I'm not gonna argue with them as it's a proper, genuine future classic. Right up with the best of the Dissident releases from the likes of Gatto Fritton, Cage And Aviary, Ali Renault, Kruton and Columbia #1. This is a monster slo-mo anthem for the disco-tech kids - no bloody edits here, just 100% original dancefloor devastation!! Awesome material.

Brassica - The Centre

Here's a couple of other bits and bobs that people have hit me up about too. Some other mixes and edits of tracks I've posted that I've been asked to put up here, so as promised 'ere they are,,,,,

Shit Robot - Simple Things (Original Version)
The Dels - Get On Down (Theo Parrish Re-Edit)
Jarle Brathen - Takras (Prins Thomas Remix)
Doves - Jetstream (Lindstrom Remix)

GREG WILSON Pictures, Images and Photos

Now just a little word from our sponsors.

Suono 5th Birthday Party With Greg Wilson. This Friday @ The Northumberland Arms 10:30PM till 4AM.

Those fabulous people across at Newcastle's favourite regularly-irregular clubnight 'Suono' have really been pulling the stops out recently. Their last party saw Italo legend Daniele Baldelli grace the 1's and 2's at what I'm sure everyone who was lucky enough to be in attendance would agree was an absolutley storming party. Now if you thought that'd be hard to top, well think again, they're certainly not taking their foot off the gas as they celebrate their 5th Birthday this weekend and as a special treat for all you boys n' girls they'll be welcoming the legend that is 'Greg Wilson' to The Northumberland Arms on Friday night! They'll be handing over total control of the entire night’s soundtrack, from start to finish, to Greg for whats guaranteed to be an 'effing EPIC birthday bashment! Greg has been at the cutting edge of quality, electronic dance music for over 30 years now. From his beginnings in the 1970’s disco era, to pioneering the Electro Funk sound in the early 80’s, via his legendary residencies at Wigan’s Pier and Manchester’s Legend and Hacienda. Greg truly was at the top of his game, before retiring in 1984.Since returning to dj’ing in 2003, Greg’s comeback has gone from strength to strength. Playing at such revered venues and nights as Fabric, The Sub Club, Horsemeat Disco, Back To Basics and The Electric Chair. So basically there is the perfect combination for a truly memorable party – the right venue, the right music, the right sound system and with the right like minded people!,,,,,, It'd be rude not to come innit!! Click on the link below for details of the Facebook page where you can get more info and download some of Gregs mixes.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=82442744596&ref=share

A mix now from a freind of mine and fellow A-town resident Mark Douglas. Mark co runs the KlickKlack parties at The Cosmic Ballroom and The Red Rooms and is also one of the regions premier collector of tobacco pipes with moderately amusing names, his favourites in order being,,,

1. Randy Wiley 2. Butz-Choquin 3. Stokkeby 4. Ashton Sovereign Bent Bulldog 5. Edwards Husky Commodore

Anyway, when he's not trawling through pipe markets he's knocking up proper epic 2 and a half hour mixes like this one. This is definitley one for all those who like their house music with a more minimal and techno side. You can grab the mix here:

http://soundcloud.com/doog/klickklackpodcast001-doog

1. Tokyo Black Star - Deep Sea 2. Nick Curly - New Town Stranger
3. Martin Beume - Texgreen 4. Alex Flitsch meets Audiofly - Long Way To Go
5. Motorcity Drum Ensemble - Lonely One
6. The Fix - Havana (The Fix remix)
7. Terry Lee Brown Junior - Soul Digits. Baby Ford - Gravy rain (Acapella)
8. Seuil - Musm
9. Genny G - Un Affatata (Nima Gorji remix)
10. Damian Schwartz - 20
11. Guti - Tricicolos feat. Solimano
12. Spencer Parker - The Beginning (Affkt & Danny Fido remix) 13. Super Flu - Lyla Sucks Lemon (Super Flu Re-edit) 14. Fuckpony - Lady Judy
15. Volta & Salvatore Freda - Bombolone
16. Julian Chaptal - Mamdaye
17. Afrilounge - Wasser Und Sonne
18. Ballesteros & Payda - Winter Noise (Peter Moon, Paco Mena & Ballesteros remix)
19. Anthony Collins - The Drummer Lost His Mind
20. Lumidee - Never Leave You (Bootleg)
21. St. Germain - Rose Rouge (Luciano remix)
22. Andomat 3000 - BND2 (Kiki's Santera meets Pancho Villa remix)
23. Santos - Hold Home
24. Livio & Roby - Mistique
25. Brothers Vibe - Feelin House (Raw mix) 26. Caetano Veloso - Depois Que o Ile Passar (Jack Ridella Remix)
27. The Rossmannfrister Project - Time (Kiki remix) 28. Marshall Jefferson Vs Noosa Heads - Mushrooms (Meat Vs Einzelkind remix)
29. Kerri Chandler - Pong (Ben Klock's Bones & Strings remix) 30. Livio & Roby - Struti
31. Joris Voorn - Empty Trash

,,,, and the Facebook page for the KlickKlack Podcasts is here innit: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/group.php?gid=92522669863&ref=mf

If that floats your boat, you'll be interested to hear that there's a free 'KlickKlack' residents party @ The Cosmic Ballroom in a couple of weeks time on Friday the 17th of June. If you're about that night you could do a lot worse than have a look down, details are here,

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fevent.php%3Feid%3D98824248306%26ref%3Dts&h=99527463271f293e01eca2e65ae576c6

Peas out till next time.

Big love, Moogar. x

Sunday, 21 June 2009

"Those that can, do, those that can't, teach, and those who can't teach,,, appear to have taught me!!"

Germans! Pictures, Images and Photos

We start this time with a bit of housekeeping from last weeks 'Pirate Special'. A few people have been in touch querying my choice of the pirates we featured and put forward their own nominations. Well fret not sweet people, there will be a 'Pirate Follow-Up' in a few weeks time which will clear up any questions you had and have a run down of new inclusion so hold ya horses till then. But for now here are the answers to the 'are they, arn't they Pirates?' questions you asked.

Pirate or not?

Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen:
T.V. decorating fop known for his long, curley tresses. Just like a girl.

David Essex:
Croaking granny-dampener with a penchant for earrings and fancy waistcoats. (See also: 'Are they, arn't they Pikeys.')

Jeremy Beadle:
Boss-handed TV prankster. Pirate like beard. Watch out!,,,, or not, as he's brown bread now innit!

Bob Geldof:
Irish pop philanthropist with ludicrous beard arrangements and tattooed ex-wife. Has been known to consort with vagabonds and renowned twatist Bono.

Ann Widdecombe:
Feisty bowl-haired beauty and fearsome adversary of Robin 'Redbeard' Cook.




Time to fly 'das' freak flag though now, as we begin to dip into the murky pool of musical one-up-manship that is krautrock. First up, we're having a swift worship at the 'Ash Ra Tempel', one of the most influential groups of the genre. Formed in the early 70's from the ashes of 'Eruption', the band featured such musical heavy-weights as Manuel Gottsching (he of 'E2 E4' fame), Hartmut Enke and Klaus Schulze (who has been a regular collaborater with Pete Namlook recently). A bunch of VERY serious chaps there so it's really no surprise that they would create some of the spaciest, most cosmic music ever made. This track is the A side to their first self-titled LP, released in 1971. Is it epic? Or is it massive? Or is it psychedelic? Who cares? It's amazing!! A drone-y soundscape that slowly but surely builds as the drums and bass get more active. In fact you're nearly 6 minutes in until Gottsching's starts to take the lead with some monster guitar jams and the song comes alive. The track is almost 20 minutes long but stick with it as some of the most amazing moments come after the 15 minute mark, when the heaviest, sludgiest rock band ever shows up to psyche the whole thing out. For full effect, do a load of mescal, whack it on ya i-pod, head to the park, lie down and drop out.
This will probably result in you get arrested for running around in ya underwear and scaring locals by trying to tell them you invented skimmed milk and acusing a passing horse of being a holocaust denier.

Ash Ra Temple - Amboss

Now onto the true big guns of the Kraut movement 'Can'.
'Mushroom' is taken from the album Tago Mago 1970, the first record they made after Malcolm Mooney left due to a breakdown. Left without a vocalist the story is that bass player Holger Czukay found Damo Suzuki busking at a train station and asked him to join the band on the spot. Suzuki played with them the same night and subsequently became a full time member. Originally released as a double album, Tago Mago is probably not as 'Kraut' as their later records and is definitley more of a rock record but it does point to the direction they were headed. 'Mushroom' is probably the best example of this, with a strict, dominant drum beat it quickly settles into a robotic groove which Damo Suzuki babbles around in one of his most impressive vocal displays. Schmidt's synth's wail over the top, and Czukay's minimalist bass adds the finishing touch. Shifting between moody and rock-out, 'Mushroom' is probably the best example of all Can were working towards with their next 2 albums Ege Bamyasi and Future Days.

Can - Mushroom

The Free Association were formed a few years back now by DJ and producer David Holmes and Steve Hilton. Later incarnations saw various other members come and go including San Francisco rapper Sean Reveron and singer Petra Jean Phillipson. Influenced dually by techno and film music, Holmes and Hilton also worked on a number of soundtracks for amongst others Out Of Sight, The Ocean's films and Analyze That. They have also released a number of critically acclaimed albums of their own. But continuing the Kruat-esque theme I've decided on the track that Michael Winterbottom used for the opening sequence for the criminally underatted Code 46. A dreamy, slow burner that brilliantly captures the emotional bareness of the film itself.

The Free Association * Inside/Outside

The Early Years continue the liner musical narrative perfectly from classic 'Kraut' to that most English of musical movements 'Shoegaze' through to 'Drone-Rock'. First single 'All Zero's And One's' came out in late 2005 and rightly gathered rapturous praise from the likes of Brian Eno, Bobby Gillespie, David Bowie and Kevin Shields. Despite this the band dissapeared somewhat after a couple of singles and their self titled debut album in 2006. Despite showing some great early promise they have to my knowledge, only released 1 record since, 'The Great Awakening' E.P. in 2007. If anyone has any info on what they've been up to since please drop me a line.

The Early Years - All One's And Zero's

Secret Knowledge were the brainchild of music writer and Kris Needs who was primarily known for being somewhat of a journalistic scenester and ligger during the 70's, shacking up with everyone from Allen Ginsburg to Annie Nightingale. 'Sugar Daddy' first appeared in 1992 as one of the first few releases on Andy Weatheralls 'Sabres Of Paradise' label and features regular collaborator Wonder Schnieder as well as the in-house production dream-team of Jagz Kooner, Gary Burns and Tim Holmes. A big record at the time which has still stood up to the test of time and genre incredibly well due mainly to it's rolling Moroder-esqe bassline and minimal, stripped back rhythm. A trance record in the truest sense, before what trance meant was dutch blokes in Oakley Eyejackets and white tracksuits.

Secret Knowledge - Sugar Daddy

Bit of a disco vibe now with 'Madd Luck', Dimitri's edit of 'Bad Luck' by Harold Melvin And The Blue Notes. It's sumertime and the sun's out and there's nowt like hearing Teddy Pendergrass ripping out out a "DOWN DOWN DOWN!!" from the bottom of his lungs over some badass horn blasts! Perfect for those days when you're not in any specific musical mood. For the edit Dimitri has mostly twiddled about with the strings, bass and drums, adding a big kick mix that does away with the more relaxed original.

Harold Melvin And The Blue Notes - 'Madd Luck' (Dimitris' Re-Chop)

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Thoughts On Love And Smoking (A Stolen Title)

Pirates Pictures, Images and Photos
"Haaargh! Haaaaaaaaaargh! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaargh! There's water water everywhere but not a drop to drink. But empty vessel's make more noise," a wise man once said.
It's a fact of life that hookers, lesbians, Gianluigi Lentini's French bakers haircut when he signed for Milan, Lester Freamon off of The Wire and Rubicon fruit juice are the coolest things to have roamed the planet. As well as Pirates of course! In order prove this fact, and it is a fact, I've put together a handy go-to reference guide to the Champions league of navel badmen full of iron clad facts and stats as proof of this.
Enjoy.

Francis Drake:
Probably best known for his prowess at Crown Green Bowling and his dope MCing skillz, Sir Francis Drake was an Elizabethan privateer with an evident hatred of the Spanish. Not content with routing their Armada, Drake routinely attacked and robbed Spaniards at every opportunity. His attack on Cadiz and along The Veronica's in Tenerife are the stuff of legend as are his devastating raids on the Spanish Main, earning him their fear and grudging respect. In his ship The Golden Hind, Drake Was the first Englishman to circumnavigate the globe, even claiming a portion of California for Queen Elizabeth along the way and installing Errol Flynn as it's first governor.

Henry Morgan.
The Welsh pirate plundered robbed and generally annoyed the Spanish on their own so-called Main, ie; their South American colonies. In 1668 Captain Morgan attacked the Spanish mainland, plundered their cities and had it on his toes with a quarter of a million pieces of gold. Later he led an army overland to plunder Panama, but short of food and water, his men were forced to eat every dog, cat and mule they could find. Morgan still managed to sack the city, before doing a nash with most of the loot for himself. He was later knighted by Charles II, made Governor of Jamaica and later, Mayor of Bensham. A position which had just been vacated after 2 terms by Graham Cartwright.

William Kidd:
Having initially received a royal commission to apprehend pirates in the Red Sea and Indian Ocean, celebrated 17th Century British outlaw Captain Kidd decided being a pirate was much more fun. In 1698 he took his most valuable ship, the Quedagh Merchant on a looting and pillaging spree along the North American coast, but a year later, suddenly worried about getting caught, Kidd scuttled the stolen ship with it's huge treasure haul and travelled to New York to persuade it's governor of his innocence. After a likely rebuttal of, "You're a funny fuckin' guy, yeah, you're like a fuckin' comedian ya stoopid fuck! Go get me a fuckin' pretzel ye dumb shmo', why I oighta,,,,," Kidd was extradited to England and hanged. Despite receiving a fabulous character reference from Errol Flynn.

Long John Silver:
With his eye-patch and talking parrot, Silver was a big noise in the Pirate biz. Immortalised in early issues of a Haynes publication penned by Robert Louis Stevenson,'The Granada 3.0 Ghia Owners Manual', Silver spent his time robbing ships and burying the treasure on small islands all over the Caribbean. His fondness for cabin boys called Jim, pieces of eight, "Hahahahaha's" and "me hearties" were legendary, and some sceptics have even claimed that Stevenson made the whole thing up. Some historians claim that Long John invented underwear, and his first mate, Dave 'Jolly' Rancher, a happy-go-lucky type, gave his name to a famous mint.

Captain Pugwash:
First off, lets get one thing straight, he never had a crew member called Seaman Stains, or Bot the cabin boy or anything daft like that, though Bosun Cunt-chops (pronounced 'Cunt-Chops') was a trusted confidante of his. The erstwhile cap'n of the fearsome 'Black Pig', Pugwash was one of the most violent and psychopathic pirates ever to plunder the Spanish galleons of the new world. Legend has it that Pugwash would flay the skin from his Spaniard captives to make fashionable scarves for his cabin boys in order that they would look 'smart' next time they dropped anchor in Ibiza and nipped down the Ku. Pugwash was in fact such a nutter that his ever nervous crew defected one by one until they left him with just a skeleton crew to man his ship, and when that ran aground in Jamaica, he was captured by a group of native 'badmen' who proceded 'dash him up' then tore him limb from limb.
Contrary to popular belief, at the time of his death Pugwash had retired from competitive beatboxing.

Anne Bonny:
The best-known female pirate, Anne Bonny was said to be a "Well endowed lass with a fiery spirit and a temper that matched that of Quincy M.E.". Fighting in men's clothes, she was a bit tasty with a cutlass and was first over the side with any boarding party. In 1720, when Anne was still only a 20 year old hewa, her ship was captured in the Caribbean, but she escaped execution on account of being up the duff and then mysteriously vanished from official records. She is thought to have been ransomed by her father and allowed to start a new life in America becoming one of the original members of Destiny's Child. She later married and had 5 children, possibly with Errol Flynn.
pirates Pictures, Images and Photos

Reet then, hope that cleared up any confusion you may have been suffering with regards to famous privateers/pirates. You'll now be able to nip off down the juicer, armed with all the statistical density and bad pirate 'tude you need to pontificate and eulogise at great lengths about shivering timbers, red polkerdot headscarf's and all things galleon related.
Now onto a bit of video in which Graham Cartwright (2nd mention of him today!), sorry, Terry Farley and Steve Hall spout some pretentious twaddle about the halcyon days of the Balearic Network and the Boys Own/JBO label and their parties.
Regarde,






Now onto some tunes. Good bunch of stuff this week. Some cracking new stuff from DFA/Rong, some *cough* 'proper house' and some other edit's and stuff I've ripped from vinyl and my old hard drive.
We kick off proceedings with the legendary Black Devil Disco Club's 'On Just Foot' from their 'In Dub' album putting foot-to-arse in the name of deep technoid disco. Ashley Beedles early 90's incarnation, (alongside Rob Mello and Linsey Edwards if memory serves,) 'Black Science Orchestra' make an appearence with a new mix of 'Save Us' which popped up a few months back on a promo package. Not sure if this version made the official release but it's a killer mix so I've stuck it up anyhoo.
A couple of Greg Wilson's re-cuts have sneaked in too this week, the version of Psycho Killer from 'Stop Making Sense' he's edited into 'I Gotta Tape I Wanna Play' being my personal favorite, that is not to detract from his subtle re-edit of D.C. LaRue's 'Ca-The-Drals.'
The DFA/Rong stable play an absolute blider with the Tiedye remix of 'Love The Night Away' by DJ Kaos, all Balearic Bongo's and classic Italo vocals, it's got classic writ through it and I'll stake what little is left of my reputation on that! Much to my chagrin, I got this on promo of a couple of months back and didn't give it a proper listen but went back to it a fortnight or so ago and it's been on heavy rotation here at Tourist towers since. A stone cold, real-I-am, proper, bonafide, 9.5 out of 10 classic pop cut.
Kitsune bods 'Tanlines' deliver a bit of calypso disco electro music for various kinds of sex, doncha know? And we finish off with a snappy Prins Thomas mix of Forces Of Nature on ever trendy Japanese label Mule Musiq, and Todd Terje's edit of 'Horse With No Name'. Unfortunately I cannot provide the lovely screen printed cover that comes with the vinyl of this, but why not use your imagination and get a pen and paper, scrawl something akin to a horse on it and whack it on a CD. There ye gan.

Black Devil Disco Club - On Just Foot (Dub Version)

DJ Kaos - Love The Night Away (Tiedye Remix)

The Glass - Wanna Be Dancin' (In Flagranti Remix)

Talking Heads - I Gotta Tape I Wanna Play (Greg Wilson Edit)

Black Science Orchestra - Save Us (Ashley Beedles Disco Throwback Remix)

DC - Le Groove (Greg Wilson Edit)

Tanlines - Bejan

Force Of Nature - To The Brain (Prins Thomas Remix)

America - Horse With No Name (Todd Terje Edit)


Big Love. Moogar. x.

Saturday, 6 June 2009

Newcastle,,,, so good they named it once.

Cup O Tea Pictures, Images and Photos

There are few greater pleasures that do not involve the exchange of bodily fluids, the introduction of some of Columbia’s finest to your nasal passages or the sight of a grinning No. 9 with one arm raised than slipping into a greasy spoon for a nice brew, (FUCKING LOVE TEA!) a read of the sports pages of a decent paper and of course a full English breakfast. It might just be me but I prefer this as a solitary activity, sliding anonymously into a corner to watch the world go by. Peacefully. Unfortunately, these types of establishments are on the retreat in the city of Newcastle as the march of culturism carries all before it in the Toon, much to the delight of the Jesmonderatti whose values appear to be shaping the social and physical make up of what was and still in its soul remains, a socialists city! Someone somewhere has decided that they want to have a cafĂ© culture. They have been on a cheap flight to somewhere hot and they are blinded by the image of some tasty, sultry bird reading ‘La Stampa’ and sipping on a cappuccino. And they want us to like that as well. And the ‘Noberatti’ in Newcastle seem to have fallen for it, hook line and sinker man. In their heads they have just walked onto the set of “Friends” and are gagging for frothy, whimsy from the beautiful people. Instead they get an unhappy, over-weight middle-aged shopper with her put upon husband who always seems to need more space and is either ‘too hot’ or ‘too cold’, forever cast on the eternal horns of the take your coat off , leave it on dilemma. Naturally there will be queues in which good old Anglo-Saxon bad humored impatience is never far away from the surface – they’ve waited more than 2 seconds to be served their phony, grossly over-priced ‘muck-a-chocco-chino by a dis-interested minimum wage slave who is as much interested in your ‘coffee leisure experience as you are in David Beckham’s HELLO life. These are no ‘urban retreats. There is no quiet bolt-hole for you to take a bit of refuge from the general shittiness of life. You are on show and the message is clear – once you have swilled that tepid milky shite down your neck, get the fuck out and we’ll get the next lot of lifestyle dupes in. At its best, sitting in one of these places is like being in a post office queue, at its worst it’s like being at a W.A.S.P. gig, (hello Steff and Lash!) Naturally, some soppy social worker type who imagines she’s at the zeitgeist will be continually checking her brat, tarquin or Jocaster to stop fucking around, whilst you will be cursing your life. This is the modern world? Just say No!



Right o' then, tune time. A good bunch of recordings for you cats today. Some brand spanking new remix-y, disco-y goodness from the likes of Reverso 68, Justus Kohncke and DFA chaps Holy Ghost! Some nice new edits with some 2009 disco dust sprinkled over Macho, Herculese and David Joseph. You also get a stone cold future classic from from Harvey's W.E.W. label with the brilliant 'Rushing To Paradise', while Chicken lips deliver a huge disco tinged, chugging acid monster with their remix of Simian Mobile Disco's 'Audacity Of Huge'.
We finnish up with a cracking collaboration from Gomma boss Headman and Jeremy Kerr from A Certain Ratio and a certain Mr Weatherall pitches in with an epic re-working of Fuck Buttons' excellent 'Sweet Love For Planet Earth'.

Hope you enjoy them.

Depeche Mode - Peace (Justus Kohncke Extended Disco Mix)

Pheonix - Lisztomania (Holy Ghost Loves Paris Remixomania)

Macho - Not Tonite (Jackpot Re-Edit)

House Of House * Rushing To Paradise

David Joseph - You Can't Hide Your Love From Me Again (12" Version)

SMD - Audacity Of Huge (Chicken Lips Mix)

Headman & Jeremy Kerr - Dreampieces (Alternative Version)

Who Made Who - Keep Me On My Plane (Reverso 68 Mix)

Fuck Buttons - Sweet Love For Planet Earth (Andrew Weatherall Remix)

Herculese * Sunday Morning Fever (RM Edits)

Trah fo' now.
Moogar. x