Tuesday, 30 December 2008

2008, who's clearing up?

cocaine Pictures, Images and Photos
Well that's 2008 done and dusted, and it turns out that despite Simon Cowell cementing his status as the earthbound antichrist by getting some sub standard, cruise ship entertainer version of 'Hallelujah' to the holy grail of the Christmas no. 1, all in all it wasn't too bad a year for 'proper' music. Elbow finally won the Mercury and got some modicum of the recognition they deserve, Portishead almost made the 11 year wait for another record worthwhile with the fantastic 'Third', and even Spiritualized made a good record with the overlooked 'Songs In A & E'. Other honourable mentions go to records of note from The Kills, Fleet Foxes, T.V. On The Radio, British Sea Power and Friendly Fires.
On the Electronic/Dance floor front, 2008 proved to be one of the most forward looking years as far as house music is concerned for some time, with the output from labels like Dissident, DFA and Boarder Community seemingly getting stronger month on month for the whole of the year! I just hope 2009 can match it!
So instead of me banging on at anymore length about the records that floated my boat I've just knocked up a list below (in no particular order) for you to meander through at your own sweet leisurely pace, or not!

The Presets * Talk Like That (Optimo Remix)
Jazzanova * Let Me Show Ya (Henrik Schwarz Remix)
Columbia #1 * Columbia #1
The Truffle Club * Gone Blue
Audion * Against All Odds
It’s A Fine Line * Woman (Makhnvshchina Repossession)
Alloy Mental * I Am (Marc Houle Remix)
Giorgio Moroder * I Wanna Rock You (Jacques Renault Edit)
T & T Edits * Don’t Stop
Poni Hoax * Antibodies
Radiohead * Back Drifts (Lunatic Fringe Edit)
Boy 8-Bit * Fogbank
Zombie Zombie * Texas Rangers (Danton Eeprom Remix)
Patrice Baumel * Roar
H.O.S.H. * White Elephant
Marc Asken * Root Rot (Shonky Remix)
Bot’ox * Babylon By Car (Richard Sen Remix)
Seq * Down
Moby * I Love To Move In Here (Holy Ghost Mix)
Tomski & Fredboy * Do The Tartlet
Ryan Davis * Wide Open Spaces
Pilas * Night Is
In Flagranti * Intergalactic Bubblegum
Control Voltage * The Bounce
Panthers * Goblin City (Holy Ghost Remix)
LCD Soundsystem * 45:33 (Padded Cell Mix)
Chloe * Be Kind To Me (Krikor Mean Dub)
Bill Withers * Who Is He And What Is He To You (Henrik Schwarz Mix)
Noze *Dans Avec Moi (Sascha Funke Mix)
Stimming * Una Pena
Unit 4 * A New Day (Bangkok Impact Mix)
Remote * Hardstick (LA Horse Remix)

Andrew Weatherall Pictures, Images and Photos

2008 was also notable as it brought us the semi-return to form of Primal Scream. After the somewhat lacklustre pop rock shapes of 'Riot City Blues' the new Scream record wasn't exactly top of many people’s most anticipated list, but it did deliver to some extent. Notably with the shuffling 80's New York disco of the standout track 'Uptown'. Even better news was that long time collaborator and English national treasure, Andrew Weatherall had done a spot of knob twiddling for a remix that was to appear on a special vinyl box set version of the album. I was lucky enough to get a copy of the promo release of this some time ago which containes the Weatherall mix and have managed to get round to posting it up just now.
As a special new year bonus of our own, just coz we're top geezers, we here at 'Tourist Towers' have also posted a couple of our fav Weatherall Moments with his seminal mixes of St. Etienne and Finitribe 101. Hope you enjoy them.

Primal Scream * Uptown (Weatheralls Long After The Disco Is Over Mix)

St. Etienne * Only Love Can Break Your Heart (Weatheralls Mix In Two Halves)

Finitribe 101 * Sonic Shuffle (Weatherall Mix)

Phew! It's a bumper one today, before I forget, here's couple of other little bits I found in the old promo files that some of the more Techno minded readers might like too.

Sweet 'n Candy * Bloody Minds

Falko Brocksieper * Valley Dive

That’s all I can manage till next time as I’ve got the flu for the 2nd time in 4 weeks.
Big love. Fape, X.

Sunday, 28 December 2008

Death From A Glove.

Creepy Santa Pictures, Images and Photos

Well, it's Christmas bonus day today so two mixtapes in a row here at Tourist HQ!
Up first is an epic soundclash between England’s finest (TM) Andrew Weatherall and Tourist favourite Ivan Smagghe. It's a live recording from the legendary 'Rotters Golf Club' night and is in my not so humble opinion, one of the best live sets I've heard in a good few years so do not delay, get it downloaded smartish innit! You won't be disappointed.

Andy Weatherall & Ivan Smagghe. Live@Rotters Golf Club. 22/06/07.

Number 2 is a classic from the DFA's 'DFA Radiomix' series. It's a set from the label's Tim Goldsworthy and New York DJ Tim Sweeney spinning together as "T&T" at a DFA/Ghostly International Halloween party at New York's 'Studio B'. Anyone after a tracklist just drop us a line.

Tim Goldsworthy & Tim Sweeny. Live@Studio B, NY. DFA Halloween Special.

Glass Candy have recently become flavour of the month, surprisingly with everyone from the ‘Havin’ It Electro’ crew and the skinny fit indie mob to the chin stroking techno blokes and disco nerds. The first track they put out was a while back and was one of the first release's for Troubleman Unlimited's electro label 'Italians Do It Better'. They thankfully abandoned their no-wave roots to indulge their Giorgio Moroder, Cerrone, and Alexander Robotnik fixations. The original version of "I Always Say Yes" is eight minutes of skeletal terror-disco, with horror synths straight out of a Dario Argento's film set to an analog beat and singer Ida No's chilly, haunted vocals. I’ve posted the more mainstream ‘Baron Von Luxx’ remix below so check it out and if you like it, have a look round 'tinterweb for the original.

Glass Candy * I Always Say Yes. (Baron Von Luxx Mix Parts 2 & 3.)

Next up, it's that rarest of things, a record that Calvin Harris has touched and that isn't utter shit! It's a surprisingly good, if a touch obvious, mix of 'See The Light' by 'The Hours'.
Most people know the story of The Hours so I'll be mercifully brief, Antony Genn was in Joe Strummer's band and produced his solo album. His partner Martin Slattery was in Black Grape, errr, they did some drugs and knocked out a couple of half decent singles.

The Hours * See The Light (Calvin Harris Mix)

Another little Xmas bonus now in the form of an old James Holden Remix, Andre Kraml's 'Safari' which came out on the Crosstown Rebels label a couple of years back. I found the promo for this a few days ago and remembered that it's a decent track and a few people may have overlooked it at the time so if you like this, get looking on't net for some more of Holden's gear.

Andre Kraml * Safari (James Holden Remix)

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

A lirrel match report wot i wrote


No tunes on this one, as I'm sitting in my girlfriends office at the restaurant she runs waiting for her to finish off after the Christmas carnage and i dont have access to the absolute wealth of musical finery that resides on my steam powered difference engine (or any speakers to listen to whatever music i would otherwise knick of the old hypemachine).

Tourist, last Friday...

Credit Crunch, Recession, Depression, call it what you will, but its having a negative effect on ALL of the Club events in our particular corner of the globe.

So, Friday could have been a bit busier then?

Despite the relatively dissapointing numbers (given the talent on show), I think it's safe to say that the committed hardcore, who arrived early and stayed till the end, were far from dissappointed.

Firstly, Fapesta played previously a unheard of 'Sober' Set (despite my best efforts to force him into premature libation).
He was great, but we're hetero lifepartners, so I'll demure in going to to much more detail for fear of appearing biased.

The Broken Hookers literally sound better each and every time I hear them.
Despite the fact that it would be somewhat churlish to suggest that constant comparisons to 2manyDJS could ever be a bad thing, I still do feel sorry for their being labelled thus so early in their career.
The Broken hookers are quite simply "The Broken Hookers", and no comparisons do justice to their unique singularity.
Stylistically schizophrenic, yet with a strong thematic and narrative flow in their sets, I cant wait to get to hear them play a headline set.

Boy 8 Bit.
Boy 8 Bit (like the Hookers before him) turned up to play well and enjoy himself, regardless of the circumstances.
He literally took every person in the club and kept them down the front right until his (fapesta instigated) Public Enemy meets Dario Argento on 'the scratch' finale.
He's one of our favourite DJs (and producers) for a very good reason.
If at any point he's within 72 hours travelling distance of wherever you may be , then we say run, don't walk, to check him out.

Other notable mentions must go to...

Le Coop (of Erol Alkan Forum fame) turning up dressed like Ben Skull Juice / Dr Who.

Dale Fromage's (also of the aforementioned forum) inaugral sentence to any of the members of Tourist HQ... "are you on drugs?"

Dave 8 Bit relenting from A) Insulting his hosts back at a post club drink and B) leaving them with some bread for their toast in the morning.

Dave 8 Bit showing some wonderful restraint at our continual FakeBlood jibes.

Everybody who stayed till the end, you truly made the night.

Fape and the Hookers inexplicably allowing 2 spotty berks into the DJ booth to bug the shit out of "The Boy".

And finally, special thanks go to said spotty berks for providing me with the perfect target to offload my Christmas frustrations on, you'll never know how close you were to actual murder on the dancefloor.


Sunday, 21 December 2008

Christmas is coming, the geese are full of shat!

Kung fu kitty Pictures, Images and Photos
Han Solo Vs Boba Fete? Dracula Vs The Wolfman? A Zombie Vs A Mummy? Jaws Vs King Kong? Chuck Norris Vs Bruce Lee? Mike Tyson Vs Darth Vader? Yes, today I shall be answering some of the eternal questions that have troubled our top acedemics, holy men and booze hounds for decades. So, to clear up at least some of the conjecture cluttering up the world of 'avin' it electro' once and for all, we bring you a four way fight between a quartet of the biggest hitting, heavyweight producers and remixer's from both sides of the English channel!
The first bout is an all Gallic dust up, in the blue corner we have the man Yuksek, a veteran of the 2001 - 2003 electro clash wars versus, in the red corner, his sometime production partner and new kid on the block and the pretender to the title, Brodinski!
So without a do, its seconds out, round one!

Tommy Sparks * I'm A Rope (Yuksek Mix)

DJ Medhi * Pocket Piano (Brodinski Mix)

The second bout of the night is an all English affair between two of our best known producers and DJ's, Herve and Sinden. Going head to head, stretching nerve and sinu to prove who's the king of crunk, the wizard of 'wonk', the beast of the bassline.
"Ladies annnnnnnnnnd gentlemen,,, leeeeeet's get ready to rummmmmmmmmmmmmmble!"

N.A.S.A. * Money (Count Of Monte Cristal mix)

Metronomy * A Thing For Me (Sinden Remix)

Seeing as we're always getting e-mails wanting advice and guidance from both our readers we've decided to take a pragmatic approach to this and this week start our regularly irregular column to help with your numerous heartache's and problems, be they techno, disco or even Balearic. So hear it is,,,,,

Geoff and Fape's problem page*!

Dear Geoff,
Only the other day I hooked up to the internet on a vacant website, E-mailed some motherboards but snagged my acoustic couplers on a scuzzy cable before my ram roms downloaded all over the parallel port and got a floppy cutlet pipeline combined with a burst cash memory situation. Who'd have believed it, eh?! Anyway, get out yourselves much do you?
Brian. Baywater.

"Only when the drugs run out pal."
Geoff. The Grotto.

Dear Fape,
Would you recommend having your colon irrigated?
Lance Velvet. Bay Of Pigs.

"Certainly not Lance! Nothing’s going up my tradesman's except in pre-airport customs emergencies. And it's a brave man who asks me to stop and bend over when I'm on one of those luggage cards doing 80 up the green channel. Besides, why the hell would anyone want to cultivate crops in their arse?"
Fape. West-Weezy A-Town.

Dear Geoff,
My doctor tells me I don't know my arse from my elbow. Course I don't man, I said, that’s your job. I don't expect you to know how to fix my plasma, do I? Just as well he said, coz mines bust. Cheeky bastard. Anyway, turned out the tube had gone, so I flogged him a new one for a pony. Good job someone knows what they're doing, eh?
Louie. Isle Of Dergs.

"I could do with a pony myself pal! The one Sammy the pants flogged me was well knackered. Couldn't run very fast but he always had a smile on his face. Done a lot of video work so I'm told. I'm renting him out if anyone's interested.
Beep me, I'm hot!"
Geoff. The Grotto.

*This feature will probably never return. Thankfully.

Friday, 12 December 2008

Anglophilia Dandyum Morte


The U.K. has had its fair share of fashion-led subcultures. Arguably, this tendency dates to the 18th Centuary dandies, who either revelled in the strictures of 'correct' attire, or plumped for flamboyant, decadent dress, with a hint of gender confusion chucked in for good measure.
By the latter half of the 20th Centuary, the sartorial descendants of Beau Brummel, Dorian Grey and their ilk came in waves. The 1950's Ted's resurrected the Edwardian drape coats that gave them their name, (a look revived in the 70's, albeit through Glam, or in it's original form).
The 1960's belonged to the 'Mods', the least adventurous and most contrived of all youth movements, with everything from their look to their music plundered, and stolen wholesale from other youth tribes, not a single original idea between the lot of the fuckers! And they have the audacity to be 'precious' as hell about what IS or ISN'T Mod! Who the fuck just died and made this bunch of arsey chancers king's of the soul patrol, eh? They haven't got a clue where they came from, is their look and music taste 60's Stax soul, Philly soul, Motown? Is it 50's British Ska, Reggae? Is it 70's urban skin? 80's casual? Ask one, next time you're unlucky enough to meet a 'Mod', I guarantee he'll ramble incoherently for hours mentioning everyone from Hewey Newton and the black panthers to Stevie Wonder, to Wigan Casino to New Order to The Clash and all the fucking way back again! Now I know about The Clash, and do you think a band with ideals so drenched in socio-political ethics would want to be associated with the shallowness of this bland bunch? I reckon Strummer would be spinning in his grave like a fuckin' dynamo if he heard that!! But I have had to put up with drip's in tight suits trying to tell me that they had 'a Mod edge', now next time this happens, I'm going to loosen some fuckers teeth! If you let a 'Mod' talk for too long he'll try and tell you everyone from 'Sparticus' to the 'Queen fucking mother' were 'Mods', "You know, coz it's a state of mind being a Mod man!" FUCK OFF! NO IT'S NOT!
Now I'm pretty sure that 'Mods' are all 'Modernist' by their very name and nature, so why the fuck are all their figure heads decades past their sell by dates, why is their look a soooo fucking 'retro?' In fact the MOST retro of all youth tribes! And as for 'Paul FUCKING Weller!' Fuck off! My Dads more edgy and street than that miserable old feather cut fucker!
Luckily though, from the 60's Mod, the look, politics and music morphed into Skin- and Sued-heads, and saw their tastes honed then perennially revived. Even punk, whatever the protagonists might say about DIY, post – winter of discontent rage and anarchy, was a fashion movement: Just ask Vivienne Westwood!
All these models share common traits, regardless of the aesthetic – the clothes HAD to be expensive, they HAD to be ostentatious, they HAD to be immaculate, and they HAD to be worn first by working class young men. Given the high rate of fashion churn between the 50's and the 70's, it's perhaps a surprise that the last great revolution in men's clothing was sparked sometime in 1977 and holds fast to this day – The Football Casual.
I think this is something to do with brand. Where the misguided Mod might wear any suit, as long as it adhered to the conventions of ancient Italian tailoring, an early day's casual couldn't wear any old tennis shirt: Only a Tacchini would do! (or Fila or Lacoste!)
At the risk of offending some of my home town (former) hooligans, Casual began on Merseyside. When scallies first merged elements of Punk style with bits of David Bowie's proto-glam, plus an odd attachment to drainpipe jeans and, of course, the wedge haircut!
Then a little later, these supporters of Liverpool found themselves at a loose end in French and Italian city centers, thanks to their clubs European success, and took the opportunity to acquire (or, more accurately, rob) sports and casual-wear they knew fellow and rival supporters back home had no chance of finding.
Despite shifts in popularity over time, the brands favored by the first casuals are those seen on every British high street today, whether it's the makes brought back from the European away matches by scousers – Kappa, Lacoste, Sergio Tacchini – or brands adopted in the late 80's – early 90's - Burberry Stone Island, Acuascutum – and they're not just on football fans. The seemingly permanent fetish for early model Adidas trainers that can be seen on the feet of everybody from floppy fringed indie kids to perfectly respectable middle aged men,, began with the early casual preference for Samba's, swiftly followed by Stan Smith's. That nice shower proof cagoule your Mum has in the wardrobe dates back to casual anoraks, originally worn over Pringle or Slazenger jumpers, often made by the likes of Kappa, sometimes by Patrick. Admittedly, you don't see many people sporting Tommy Nutter jeans, fiorruci or Lois courds these days, but they're the exception to the rule.
His sartorial longevity is down to the brands as much as it is to the enduring glamour of the well-turned-out football casual. No. To be a dandy, Punk, skin, or even a Mod, involves an attention to detail shared by the casual, but thanks to branding, that attention to detail can be reduced to a basic list of clothing manufacturer's, rather than, in the case of the Mod, making believe that you need an in depth knowledge of black politics, northern soul, and Italian tailoring, when it's actually even simpler than the casual, as you only need to know the proper number of cuff buttons and have an eye for the correct width of a tie! THAT'S AS HARD AS IT FUCKING GETS! End of.

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Everything Everything


I went to watch 2 of my friends bands play on monday, in support of a Manchester Band called "EVERYTHING EVERYTHING", who I'd heard a little bit about, but who i was very keen to see.

I was far from dissapointed.

I'm not a frustrated music journalist, so I'm going to spare you any NME style juxtaposed musical comparisons, what i will say is that while their music has a light touch in its produced form, they're a much heavier beast live.

Everything Everything - Suffragette Suffragette from Everything Everything on Vimeo.

I think i like both incarnations equally for different reasons.

Everything Everything - Weights. LIVE from Everything Everything on Vimeo.

These were literally the best band i've seen live all year and i urge everyone to check them out.

Loads of insane harmonies, syncopated drum patterns and confusing yet thrilling song structures.

If they don't become massive, then there's something wrong with the world (which there clearly is, but lets hope they get big anyway)

The last Channel M vid put me in mind of this, which has no real relevance, but still makes me piss myself.

Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Ooooooh, GET YOU!

new romantic - japan Pictures, Images and Photos
NEW ROMANTICS, (A Brief History,)
If you were dressed like a dandy highwayman in 1781 it would probably mean the gallows and a public hanging. On the other hand, if you dressed like a dandy highwayman in 1981 it would probably mean that you'd soon put on roughly 7 stone and sometime in the early 21st century menace the patrons at your local boozer by waving a replica firearm around! Who can forget those peacocks of fashion 'the New Romantics'? This crowd were not part of a revival of the artistic movement immortalised by the likes of Byron or Shelley, but a rallying of adventurous types who would give anything for a free day pass into the BBC drama departments wardrobe. Ahhhh, such days. In fact, the area at Old Eldon Square, on any given weekend, back then looked like the cast of The Pirates of the Caribbean having a break from shooting. Often the target of many a Charver, these lovable 'arties provided much entertainment during their brief existence. Many reckon that Bowie inspired this movement, but my money is on 'Captain Pugwash', Which in the eyes of the New Romantics would bizarrely bring a cardboard figure to the same iconic status as Bowie himself. Romantics usually lived in Morpeth, Tynemouth, or Gosforth. But things even got out of hand on a number of occasions as the swashbuckling romantics of Cramlington Village clashed with the pistol whippin Bedlington highwaymen on board the X33 bus from Newcastle to Newbiggin! Sadly, the argument as to which was best, 'Dr Snuggles' or 'Dangermouse?' Was never decided! Once they arrived at the Haymarket, the shipmates headed into town and it was to the usual dive bars that their journey would end. Stripey t-shirts and Chinese pumps all round and a pint of orange juice please my good sir, Duran Duran on the decks and all were happy. Actually, much happier people all-round than their descendants the Goths. 'Tunnel' and 'Herges' were the place for the romantic to shop, or the Army and Navy Stores at the top of high bridge for the more adventurous. 'Flip' also stocked an array of sad imported shirts, and mingling here with some ‘boyos’ buying parkas and Shott puffer jackets was the nearest the romantics actually got to a pair of Kickers without receiving a kicking! Now many romantics would argue that 'their scene' was unique and that no one had tried their particular look before. However, this argument could be squashed by: Captain Kidd, Dick Turpin, Tom, Dick or Harry Dunsdon, Sitting Bull, Crazy horse, Captain Henry Morgan or Blackbeard. Although, I reckon most the aforementioned ship folk would prefer some good old sea shanties to the 12" version of 'Planet Earth'. DESPITE the fact that by the time the romantics finished their time at sixth form, they were opting for back garb and moody stances, there will always be a smile for this band of under achieving over achievers.

Just for your own 'Emotional Rescue', here's a nice little track from one of Tourists, (the night wot this blog is for remember?) guests from last month, Brooklyn's kings of the modern day edit, In Flagranti. Check it.

In Flagranti * Emotinonal R. Edit.

As well as that, here's a Serge Santiago mix from 'We Love,,,' in Ibiza that we found kicking about down the back of the old mainframe here up at Tourist Towers. Enjoy,,,,

Big Love, Fape. X

Saturday, 6 December 2008

The Carnival Of Empty

Britany Spears Bald lady Pictures, Images and Photos

If every weekday morning you spring out of bed before your alarm goes off, dash to work whistling a happy tune and greet your co workers with a beaming smile, then you are one of the select few who actually find their job a a rewarding and pleasurable experience. For most of us, the 90,000 hours of our lives spent at work is a monotonous, clock watching struggle to climb the career ladder - a tortuous five-day stint of backstabbing, tedium and lukewarm coffee drunk from plastic cups. Since the days when you sat down at school to discuss your future with the careers advisor , it's been drilled into your brain that a respectable vocation and reasonable wage is of the utmost importance. Frivolous young men who want to do something that they really enjoy - scubba divers, charity workers in exotic country's and musicians - are scoffed at and steered away towards a more punative and achievable vocation.
So it's a lifetime of desk jockeying and killing time on the net is it? Well so be it! To be fair though, after years of practice, these days as long as I've got fast and easy access to Skysports.com and some internet porn I can pretty much blank out the whole of the 'office world' thats happening around me. I spend hours upon hours trawling the net in search of anything that can divert my attention away from performing any type of productive actions. And so, after nearly 4000 years of human achievement we've come to this - fucking about killing time on a website that allows you to click on a pump and inflate Britany Spears breats'. So should we just roll over and let the cockroaches take over? Or shall we have another go at the pump? Oh, pump it baby one more time.

Britany Spears * Breathe On Me. James Holden Vocal Final Mix. http://www.zshare.net/download/519724513b346130/

Britany Spears * Breathe On Me. James Holdens Dub.

Big Love, Fape. X

Friday, 5 December 2008

Detroit Social Club


This is one of those rare occasions where i can legitimately say i knew about the next big thing first.

Well sort of, I've known 50% of the band for years, but I've still (inexcusably) yet to actually see them play.

I doubt my lack of physical patronage will cause them too much distress however, as their currency seems to be going from strength, to strength, to fupping strength!

A rough reverse timeline would include the following.

Irish tour with PRIMAL SCREAM!
Regular fawning praise in the NME
Mini tour playing with the likes of GlasVegas.
Record Deal
Turning down the Newcastle leg of the Oasis tour.
Being only the 2nd band signed up by Geoff Barradale (Manager and discoverer of The Arctic Monkeys)
Pulling out of (an extremely high profile) battle of the bands (even though they'd been gauranteed a slot in the final)
Band formed from some of the best players on the North East Circuit.
Generator Magazine Touting (the then non-existent DSC) as the ones to watch in 08
Lead singer, Dave Burns, making a couple of 1 man demos under the name Detroit Social Club.

All of the above took place in less than 12 months.

Anyway, I'd like to take the opportunity to lead you towards their myspace, which features all of the music they see fit to make public at present.


Also, as a bit of a curiosity, here's a (vastly incomplete) remix i was doing for them.


One day i might actually get round to finishing it!

Thursday, 4 December 2008

4" High and Rising


As if to underpin the bleakness of the current financial climate, the heavens have decided to bless us with a siberian winter in the northeast of England.

I'm currently at the end of my tether with both the reccession and the weather (that doesn't half sound like a Morrisey lyric!).

So, in true hack fashion, "here's a couple of my favourite summer tunes, to beat those winter blues" (nang).

Sorry about the Grainy footage, but i adore this tune.
Theres actually another live performance on youtube with an amazing Oberheim solo on it, but I'd rather play this version that sounds closest (a little too close maybe) to the album version.

I was going to put "as if you read my mind" on for my second vid, because A) It's amazing and B) it's on 'Hotter than July', but instead I've opted for the following.
It still reminds me of summer, plus the video would work for Inflagranti in parts.

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

The creature was dressed. He took to a vest quite readily.

Kill your boss Pictures, Images and Photos
Just a quickie today as the credit crunch and it’s innumerable happenstance’s dictate our resource’s are best employed in other areas, such as putting food on the table and salting our socialist principle’s in order we may swallow them to appease the upcoming corporate wrath. But enough of this harping and on with some tunes!
Another bonus of writing a blog which is predominately music based means that sometimes you get the chance to put people onto the odd great record that was over looked or went unreleased. The point in this case being a mix that for some unknown reason, was never picked up for the full release of the recent single from ‘The Presets’. I’ve probably bored more people to the brink of tears than I care to remember with my incessant drunken banging on about the amazing ‘Optimo’ remix that was on the promo of the ‘Talk Like That’ 12”. It’ll probably feature highly in my fav records of the last 12 months. But don’t take my word for it,
Regarde, stick 'em up ya browser, download and enjoy,,,,

The Presets * Talk Like That (Optimo Remix)

As well as that, seeing as all things from over the channel seem tres en-vogue at the minute here’s a nice mix from Brodinski,

Jokers Of The Scene * Acidrod (Brodinski’s Acidbrod Mix)

And seeing as the lovely ‘Little Boots’ is proving so popular at the mo’ here’s probably my favourite remix of any of her stuff up till now.

Little Boots * Stuck On Repeat (Alexander Robotnik Remix)

And just coz I quite like it,,,,

Mujava * Township Funk (Radioclit Remix)

And here's a mix from myself and my man Andy Bamford for ya too,,,,,

Big Love. Fape. X

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Jacques and Queens.

renault Pictures, Images and Photos

The great thing about writing a bog is, well, to put it simply you can write whatever old shite you want to! Whether it's lengthy musings about sprouts being the reincarnated souls of the recently dead or what the world record is for spot welding geese to the side of a moving vehicle, it makes no difference, unless however you actually want someone to read it that is. I'll spare you the sprouts and geese for now but my current band wagon/cause celebre is one Mr Jacques Renault.

He first came to my attention on a DFA mixtape 3 or 4 years ago and has since quietly been edging into my consciousness. Now I don’t know too much about Mr Renault apart from he may well be French but has lived in New York since 2002 now and he’s been cranking out the odd stunna of a track every now and then. He’s also a bit handy with the old ‘re-edits’ which have been so ‘en-vogue’ over the last couple of years, and is responsible for one of my tracks of the year up till now with his fantastic edit of Giorgio Moroder’s ‘I Wanna Rock You’.
Apart from all his afore mentioned studio duties, he has also been spinning a splendid blend of classic cosmic disco and neo-italo (aka ‘the good stuff’) ever since he landed in NYC. He has held residencies everywhere from the super sleazy Happy Endings to the super swanky Tribeca Grand. He currently throws '205 Tuesdays' with his partner and DFA-posse-member Justin Miller, a weekly party that has hosted many of NYC’s finest.
He is also one half of ‘Runaway’ on DFA and also puts stuff out on ‘Italians Do It Better’ and notably Cosmo Vitelli's ‘I’m A Cliche’ imprint. He’s quickly making a big impression over here too with appearances in London recently alongside some of New York’s clubbing heavyweights like James Murphy, Moby, Lovefingers, Tim Sweeney and Mike Simonetti as well as getting coveted spots on the Glimmers' Eskimo mix and Lindstrom and Prins Thomas' Essential Mix. His latest release ‘She Did it For the Money” is still available now on the afore mentioned ‘I’m A Cliche’ label and is WELL recommended.
As I’m sure a few people will already be more than aware, I’m WELL lazy and I couldn't find a link to where you can buy it from but you can stream it on the ‘Runaway’ Myspace (http://www.myspace.com/rrrunaway) and grab a few free mixes while you’re there. You can also grab a brilliant, and I mean that, mix from one of his 205 Tuesday sets by simply clicking on the handy link I've gone to the trouble of creating just below. The mixing can be a bit shaky at times but the records are all proper dance-your-ass-off-go-mental material, guaranteed! There’s also links for a couple of Jacques, ahem, tracks for you there too as well as a particularly handy Mock N' Toof remix that never got picked up for release.
Who say’s we don’t look after you eh?

Justin Miller & Jacques Renault Live@205 Club, Downtown New York.

Jacques Renault * Magic Games.

Jacques Renault & Marcos Cabral * Not Afraid To Beg.

Hot Chip * Move On. (Mock N' Toof Remix)

Big love X. Fape.

Saturday, 29 November 2008


nwa Pictures, Images and Photos
On a bit of a Hip Hop vibe today solely due to the fact that when I was sitting at my desk doing some work this morning the three CD's within reaching distance were Abraxas by Santana, Super Ape by Lee 'Scratch' Perry and Straight Outta Compton by NWA.
Now seeing as I tend not to have smoked a quater ounce of weed before lunch time, Santana and Perry were pretty much out the window and 'Cube and Eazy 'Mutha-Fuckin' E were firmly on the menu. Listening to this put me in mind of some decent Hip Hop blogs so I thought I would throw this your way.
Anybody with a passing interest in Hip Hop and Rap could do a lot worse than check out website 'The Rub' run by DJ Ayres, DJ Eleven & Cosmo Baker who if my memory serves are all outta Philly and Brooklyn, but more importantly, are DeeJays and crate diggers of the highest order. All 3 of them will be familiar to anyone who's dipped their toes in the Hip Hop waters since the late 90's. More recently they've become bit palyers in the Baltimore scene appearing on Diplo's Hollertronix mixtapes and at his Mad Decent nights playing regularly alongside the likes of XXXChange from Spank Rock, A-Track and Blaqstarr. You may also know them from their "It's The Mutha Fuckin' Rub" Mixtapes.
Anyway, the site is pretty basic stuff with biogs, store, news and updates etc, but go straight past all that and head straight for 'The Rub Is On The Radio' section where you'll find mixtape's covering each year from 1980 - present. The selections from 88' - 95' get a CRAZY special mention from me personally with each mix being pretty much comprehensive covering the big tunes from that year as well as featuring the important breakthrough artists emerging at the time. If you've got a few hours to spare and a bit of room on your hard drive I MORE than recommend you get across and have a pick through the old tunes. I've been downloading one year every few weeks for a year or so now.
There's also an area for DJ's where they can submit their own unofficial mixes and edits and download others. Expect to find some really rather good mixes of tracks from the likes of busta, Eric B, Mobb Deep, Snoop, Biggie, Jay-Z, A-Track, Diplo etc.

Check eet,

And as a likkle bonus here's something double fresh for the clubs,,,,,

DJ Zinc Feat MC No.Lay * Killa Sound.

And a little oddity,,

Diplo, Leftside & Esco Vs The Yeah Yeah Yeahs * Belly

Big love, Fape. X.

Friday, 28 November 2008

Doing it for the Kids...

Just a little something something me and the boy Hell are doing on Sundays.


Kind of taking a leaf (or ripping a whole chapter) out of Optimo Espacio's book.


I did the design in 2 colours for no other reason than that I'm a cheapskate.

The ever enigmatic Dan Paris...


Dan Paris AkA Stevie Anderson is the guy who's done our artwork since way back in the Blackmagik days.

He is frustratingly talented with a bizzare sense ofhumour, which often comes through in his work.

We've long since given up offering him briefs for our artwork, as he completely ignores them.

He's set up his own blog, showcasing his work www.stevieanderson.blogspot.com, which we urge you to look at.

Here's a selection of some of our favourite pieces he's done for us, and some chowns from the artists featured...



Buraka Som Sistema - Ina De Ghetto (Diplo Rmx)


Malente & Dex - Hyperactive (Bobmo Remix)


Hercules and The Love Affair - You Belong (Riton Rerub)

Thursday, 27 November 2008


Flying in the cerberus like faces of Global Recession, Good taste, and medical science, we present to you...


BOY 8 BIT (Mad Decent, Bodyclap)

THE BROKEN HOOKERS (ArePeopleReal, Polaroid)

Plus Residents
Geoff Leopard & Fape Sta


Boy 8 Bit…
… Is one of the undoubted stars of 2008.
Whether it be his remixing work for artists such as Midfield General (Disco Sirens), Burial, X-Press2, Mujava etc, or his original productions such as FogBank, The Suspense iis Killing me and The Crow (with the ubiquitous Crookers), or perhaps more importantly as a DJ with both his own night BodyClap, held monthly at Londons T-Bar and his appearances for Fabric, The Annie Mac Tour, The Parklife Festival, The Mad Decent Tour etc etc etc.
As a producer, The Boys style has grown alongside contemporarys Switch, Sinden and Herve and has paved the way for more recent BassLine and breaks led artists such as Fake Blood
As a DJ the Boys style is wholly unique, featuring plenty of hiis own production style, as well as Crate-Digging Party Bombs alongside “serious” Techno from the likes of Stephan Bodzin and Thomas Schumacker..

The Broken Hookers…
Are Darren and Jay, a duo who have been steadily making a big name for themselves.
This year has seen them play Radio 1’s Big Weekend, Turnmills, Get Loaded In The Park, The Skins Series II Tour, Adventures In The Beetroot Field, Dirty Disco, Gatecrasher, The Modular Tour, plus many more clubs the length and the breadth of the uk & Europe.
Their Radio show “ArePeopleReal” has featured guest mixes by such luminaries as The Crookers, Kissy Sellout, Duke Dumont, Brodinski, Pilooski and many many others
This Month sees them play for the first time in their new regular role as TOURIST residents.

Plus Support from …
Geoff Leopard & FapeSta,

Half Truths, Rumours And Lies!

Reet, straight down to business today then, and we're kicking off in the best way possible with what can only be described as me stamping down hard on the breaks of my verbal discharge and a hefty clog down on the accelerator of moozik innit bredrins! So check,,,,,,

arthur russell b/W Pictures, Images and Photos

In semi-cultural news, a DVD titled "Wild Combination: A Portrait of Arthur Russell" came out at the beginning of November following a rather splendid sounding launch at the ICA Bar in London (where NOBODY I know went) with a Russell inspired DJ set from Optimos ‘Twitch’ (Who I’m semi obsessed with at the moment.) Now I’m not a huge fan of Russell’s, mainly due to the fact that outside of the Dinosaur and Wax The Van stuff I was never aware of much more of his work or really of his relevance till about 18 months ago. So I ordered the DVD a few weeks back and just like every good music nerd, I’ve still not got round to watching it yet, so here’s a brief revue by Observer Music Monthly from the inlay card.
“The film is a touching portrait of the avant jazz/disco superstar who died from AIDS in 1992 and contains rare archival footage and commentary from Arthur's family and friends. A brilliantly insightful look into an extraordinary life. The most important man you’ve probably never heard of.”
So there you go. Hope that help’s. If that’s not enough for you then here’s a nice little DFA remix that came out to little or no acclaim a few years back that I really liked but everyone else seemed to hate for some reason, Go figure?

Arthur Russell * Springfield (DFA Remix)

Marianne Faithful Pictures, Images and Photos

You’d think that begining life as lead singer with a San Francisco electroclash band with the bilious handle ‘Luxxury’ that in your whole career were you responsible for nothing more interesting than couple of very average albums you’d have punched well above your weight right? Wrong! Erstwhile singer with ‘Luxxury’ the mysterious ‘Baron Von Luxxury’ continued onwards and upwards knocking together a really rather decent back catalogue of edits/remixes along the way over the last few years. And so it was that I was digging through a box of old CD’s earlier this week and came across a brace of his remixes that I like particularly and laid them to one side ‘spesh for some hot blog action innit. So after at least an hour and a half’s technical jiggery-pokery, ‘ere they is my loves, a tidy re-edit of the already discotastic ‘Broken English’ by Marianne Faithful (and yes gentlemen of a certain age I'm aware that early 90's rave-bots 'Sunscream' did a cover of it too!) and to keep things a wee bit current, there's a nice big fat bass driven remix of 'Meddle' by media darling du jour, Little Boots.
Smoke 'em while ya got 'em!!

Marianne Faithful * Broken English (Baron Von Luxx Slow Mix)

Little Boots * Meddle (Baron Von Luxx Technicolor Mix)

Much love,

Fape x.

Friday, 21 November 2008

Fuck The Fezzies!!

Appologise Pictures, Images and Photos

I feel somewhat of an apology is in need after my WELL self-indulgant opening rant on this here blog I decided that something a bit less preachy and militant would be entirely more fitting for my second post, after all nobby likes to be lectured at, especially when we're trying to get the first time readers 'into-bed' and then 'coming back for more' to use two terrible analogy's. So, just as every man wants to wrest a Woman from her clothing by the application of nothing more than his charm, but knows the intervention of booze, that old ally in matchmaking can't be making him any less attractive, I'm gonna butter you up with some lighthearted 'gor blimey' banter and slip you a half dozen pints to (auraly) losen you're inhibitions in the form of one of my favourite mixes of the last couple of years from one of Europe's finest deck botherers Mr Ivan Smagghe.


Fuck The Fezzies!!!!!
(,,,Or; 'Why ALL music festivals suck!!')

One aspect that the enclosures acts never took into consideration was the notion that a plot of land would be made available to a significantly sized crowd in order for of all things, recreation! Woodstock, Isle of Wight, countless folk and jazz get togethers and 'pinko' summer camps. Sadly, such gatherings nowadays mean one thing? MONEY and plenty of it. As the 20th century came to a close it was clear that there wasn't a mass of people concerned about poverty or world peace, but havin' a fuckin' good time consuming as much class A as they could.
As long as there was an 'event', there was no need to concern yourself with trivial matters like poverty and peace as they were for losers. Anyway, back to large open spaces. Now rippin' kids off for a night is one thing, but how's about a whole weekend? No surprise and no qualms with this one. In recent years, Woodstock has risen from the ashes. Gone were the idealistic long haired young men of yesteryear and in came the corporate inspired money grabbing bastards. Woodstock may be on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, unless you're after wood, nails, screws etc, then Woodstock in this case is on Westgate Road, but there are money grabbing bastards this side of the pond too. Before I continue on my old arsed cynical crusade, I'm aware of the old "I found a hole in the fence" lines, yeah, that still happens but the majority paid in. So no matter who tells you that bunkin' in is the reason for upping the tickets prices, fuck'em! They're lying.
The list of festival events in Britain now commend legendary status and it's a bit of an embarrassment in certain circles if you haven't sat in a load of mud for a weekend with nothing but the gear on your back and some skins. I know countless people who insist that the 'natural' hardships of the event are all worth it and that I couldn't 'have a go' as I depend too much on clean water and a soft bed. They always forget to mention my distaste for the E.coli bug and my ongoing allergy that breaks out when I get a pint of piss down my leg or use grass to wipe my arse, even in a porto-loo. Maybe if I had kept hold of the Adventure Kit that I got for Xmas, longer than Boxing Day, when I was a kid then I would have developed a taste for good sounds combined with canvas and cold tins of beans. Sadly, the make-shift camp comprising of bed sheets that was based in our back yard ending in an inferno put a stop to such outdoor pursuits. Unluckily for us, neither Charlton Heston or Lorne Green were based at our nearest fire station.
None the less, many shun the sound advice of festival organisers and turn up in obscure hats, with dogs on string, looking like jesters, rather than the sensible efforts from the YHA shops. Although, that 'cock smoker' front-man in Jamiroquai for years was to blame for this ongoing worrying trend. One mistake that many sneaker pimps (more next ish) attending a festival make first time around is wearing their gazelle. Many a pimp has sobbed after finding their shoes are no longer fit for hanging around the Quayside. All that mud you see! It's the welly for any return visit, although some sort of petrol operated vehicle from a B&Q Warehouse would be more practical. Outfits like 'Cream' and most of the other dance related fezzies have overcome the expense of tents, camping stoves and Savlon. They simply rip the kids off for the night, but here's the smart bit, then kick it all off the next afternoon! Let's not mention the price of bottled liquids for the large number of strangely de-hydrated revellers. However, we must point out the high overheads concerning that plane flying around with a 'Creamfields' banner all day. This particular outfit or event isn't the first venture into the great outdoors for these dance brands, oh no. Those nice people at the Newcastle city council allowed Digital to charge ridiculous high prices to dance at the centre for life lst year and down at the quayside on New Years Eve during the millennium hype. Yes, a private concern asking people to pay rip-off prices to party on public land. What a brave new century and probably more of the same to come.

Reading Festival camping Pictures, Images and Photos
The common ritual of 'tent raiding' is a custom that is not simply confined to Scout Camp. Many have had items of much personal sentiment taken in order for others to construct a special cigarette or to raise funds for 1 can of lager. I have heard of underwear, soap and other such luxuries going astray. Vigilante groups have been formed and many a poor soul wrongly accused of pilfer and dealt with all the zeal of a medieval witch trial. If you insist on attending such a gathering I recommend plenty of card, stored in dry environment, and a bank heist to pay for your scran an' ale. Or buy one of those US style motor homes, then you can simply drive the bus up to the front of the stage, just watch any potential "not past me mate" types clear your path a.s.a.p.
And how long before the likes of corporate footy festivals start? Weekends in tents, with Beck's and other national heroes joining in mud fights and other hearty shenanigans. Maybe Adidas will produce a pro-model welly version. Then you won't have to wear a Fireman Sam or Tweenies pair of wellies and the sneaker pimp will maintain that certain look. Forget Virgin or Carling, I reckon that the Army and Navy Stores are the real money behind these festivals. So, if you're still intent on going next year even after reading this, stick to Burghaus and Co, and leave your 'free the weed' t-shirts at home fuck face!!

From my archieves as promised: Ivan Smagghe, Rainer Weichhold & Marcus Moehta @ Rote Sonne club. 02/02/2008.


X. Fape.

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

If they move,,,, KILL 'EM!!

Ken Dodd Pictures, Images and Photos

In a bizarre reversal of form it seems that for our first post's, there has been somewhat of a role reversal in that I'm the one posting (semi) coherent musings on life and music and Geoff's posting stuff about fanny's and gear! Whoooo'd a thunk it eh? Not in a million, blah, blah, blah, etc.
Anyhoo, I'm actually cheating a tad as the next thousand or so words are edited from a piece I wrote (and subsequently had rejected!) a good few years ago for a national magazine that will remain nameless (Q, spit!) and remains as the cornerstone and intro for a book I've been trying to write for what seems like for-fucking-ever! So here it is, the best and most condescending way I can introduce my musings. Hope you enjoy.
(Don't worry, the next one will be FULL of titty's and gak so bear with us,,,)

Its the Victoria falls of yearning, its a rush of blood to the head as well as the loins, its many things to many people, most of which involve a surging in the chest as if something momentous and life changing is about to occur. Music prompts people to act on their impractical desires leave town, drive all night, hit the city, ask the girl out, lean forward to kiss the girl when shes out with you. Its about youth. It suggests you must pursue your dreams, which, in truth, is possibly the most suspect and stupid of all musics aspects, words born on the breeze and dying as quickly on the wind. If you pursue your dreams and dont find them, where does that leave you? Too tired and bruised to even want to dream? All regrets and melancholy smiles, blown on a wish?
The criminal alternative, however, is never to feel what your favourite records feel never to feel young, gifted, good looking and over confident. To be running from, not running to the place we really want to go Heaven, Paradise,,,, wherever!
It triggers searing, visceral memories, of how you used to pull a girl close to you, just so you could feel each breath shed take, the smell of her hair,,,,, and of how now sometimes those memories come back to haunt you. Is a dream a lie if it doesnt come true or is it something worse? Or are we all missing the point: That true love requires a leap of faith? To cross that line you never come back from that means your going along for the ride, the whole ride, all the way to the end of the line. Wherever that is? Music asks all these questions.
"Everything dies and thats a fact, but maybe something that dies can come back."
Its about these dreams and our disillusions and how we deal with that intense longing that all we Human Beings have for something and someone, and how sometimes you get to that point in life when you realise that you have not achieved that. The disappointment is there but youre still willing to go back and try to hang on to something intangible.
Its the way that sometimes you pray for one face that knows you, that looks at you the way it always did. Its about hovering on that point where sheer desperation and hope battle it out, a snap-shot picture of the chasm that exists between the reality that IS, and the reality you THINK is out there. Its the first rays of the new sunrise that shines a kind of harsh light on the real world and sticks a little needle into you that says that true love doesnt always last forever, money doesnt always solve things and the truth isnt always on the lips of those you expect. But still, knowing that never stops you hoping.
Our favourite music informs us of things at the most base of levels. She Bangs the Drums and Sugar spun Sister tell me that life is both momentous and sad, but not destructive of hope, and maybe that makes me a self-dramatising depressive, or maybe it makes me a happy idiot. Either way those songs know who I am, and that, in the end, is one of the consolations of art.
Music has the gift of making things near prefect at times, when I hear Minnie Ripperton sing Les Fleur, or Marvin Gaye tearing through Inner City Blues, or even Marvin and Tammi Tyrell singing Youre All I Need I swear I can hear my own heart crack.
But in the wrong hands music can cause much harm, no-body ever loses their virginity to the song theyd like to lose it to, in a perfect world, it would be Marvin Gaye or Al Green, in actual fact its more likely to be one of your parents M.O.R. rock albums that was already in the C.D. player. Just imagine theres probably some poor soul out there who popped his cherry to one of his Dads Simple Minds albums! Pity him good people.
For me it was a satisfying fumble to the sounds of some unlistenable noise that John Peel was playing when he used to do his evening show on radio 1 at 8 oclock on a midweek night, I remember it like it was yesterday! Now in a perfect world, obviously, it wouldnt have happened that way at all. But that was still one of the defining moments in my personal/musical history, but not the most important.
That honour lays firmly with Led Zeppelin, and the first time I heard Robert Plant unleash his primal howl to mark the beginning of Communication Breakdown. I was 13, and had just gotten in from school when my friends brother told us that he had just bought some new records and a game for his spectrum, so it was with joystick in hand I waited to play Way of the Exploding Fist while my friends brother cued up side 1 of Zeppelins debut album, he didnt however tell me that the next barrage of sound I heard would change my life. It thundered out of the speakers and filled the whole of the room, the walls shook as Plant let go his scream. By the end of it I felt both confused and Exhilarated, the only other time I had felt anywhere near this was my first wank!

In order to understand the cultural impact of the ideals which shaped my thinking behind this document, it is necessary to examine what came before all this, starting with;
Back in 1977 almost a quarter of a century after they first started printing the singles charts, the NME polled its writers to determine the 100 greatest singles of all time. When the votes, dimpled or otherwise, were finally cast, the candidates were duly sifted and the result solemnly declared. And the winner was Layla by Derek And The Dominoes. The list as a whole reflected the prejudices of its day serious music was white guitar orientated and technically proficient,,,, and preferably bearded! Punk, just then coming round the mountain to blow away this complacency like dandruff, couldnt arrive quickly enough. The NMEs list not only highlights the dangers inherent in such exercises of looking extremely silly, but also indicates the extraordinary changes wrought in music over the pat quarter of a century.
Punks arrival in 1976/1977 created a schism in rock history whose impact was bearly recognised even as it happened. Whether it was a roar of working class (or should that be art School) discontent, a situationist prank with suprisingly long-lasting implications, a back to basics after the excessive colonic investigations of prog rock, the cultural product of a profound sense of boredom, alienation and economic gloom in British Society, it transformed everything. Its simple proposition that anyone could do it meant that music was no longer about proficiency but about ideas. All channels were now open: post-modern irony (Devo), feminism (Blonde, The Slits), multiculturism (The Specials, The Clash) all came bustling through the door, throwing up unlikely permutations. 1977 however would be pivotal for another reason the electrification of dance music. Donna Summers I Feel Love introduced the sequencer to Disco, while Kraftworks electronic epic 12-inch Trans-Europe-Express would trigger off an electronic storm of chain reactions that would impact on everyone from Bowie to Bambaataa. Just about every great single of the past 25 years has been determined by these two revolutionary occurrences. Punk and Electronica have made a melting pot of rock culture, breeding supersonic hybrids, feeding off each other, synthesising, colliding, mutating. Which is where this document comes in, a much needed celebration of our own incendiary era.
For example, the prevalence of all the Best of.. compilations, and all time 100 charts, most of them repeat the same sub-text that we should cringe in shame and awe of the old masters. Hence, an anthology of Beatles singles ascends to No1, a reminder of the days of proper music. This point is irradiated into our psyches by ads, and film and T.V. soundtracks, all of which are crammed with classic retro pop and a general culture of retro-chic that reminds us that such class ceased to be issued in music after 68. In short, this generation is labouring under an unwarranted musical inferiority complex.
Not to cheapen or sully the Old Masters, or indeed side-step the argument put forward in some quarters that the analogue recording methods in the sixties enabled the singles of those times to develop in a way they no longer can in this digital era. Only a philistine would argue against the immortality and unreachable uniqueness, of great sixties music. But since 1976, the emancipating opportunities of new technology, the increasingly rich heritage of past music to feast upon and fuck with, the continuing liberalisation of cultural attitudes, and the overall expansion of the universe of ideas and sounds has enabled post punk generations to produce work which frankly, would have done the old masters heads in. Curse the mono limitations of their era!
Trouble is modern music has been the victim of its own staggering eclecticism. The dreary retro-chic of the mid-nineties, was a subconscious response to the sheer mass and sampladelic diversity of these sonic times. Too much the public seemed to say a few years back, we just want a common talking point, like in the old days when it was just The Beatles or The Stones and we all knew where we stood. Hence, the excesses of Britpop (Oasis, and O.C.S. especially!) culminating in the timid M.O.R. tunesmithery of the truly awful Stereo-fuckin-fonics and Travis, a return to an agreed-upon sensibleness, and, again reflecting a pinning for some Tory musical notion of the classical, reducing rock from a convulsive, revolutionary wave to a cottage craft.
If the musical landscape today seems devoid of quality, its not due to a dearth of new ideas but in a perverse and complex way to an overload of them which resulted in a relapse into conservatism. Which means practically the only left-field incursion into the charts youll get nowadays, from all the bubbling babble of contenders, is the plodding, emotional sobriety of someone like Coldplay. A band guided to pre-eminence by a conspiracy of marketers and Radio 1 playlisters who decided there should be at least one Indie style band broken this year. And theres your second problem; the triumph of the science of marketing, into which so much creative energy is channelled nowadays.
Such wasnt the case in the aftermath of Punk, then, a door opened briefly. Record companies, unsure of what the hell was flying around, adopted an oh well, I expect you know what youre doing attitude towards new acts, an attitude which has always proven fertile in the art versus commerce stakes. The single, previously scorned by the likes of Zeppelin and Floyd, came into its own. The Buzzcocks, Elvis Costello, XTC and The Pistols all stormed the ramparts. And there was a sense of a storm too you could see the fear in Noel Edmonds eyes as he introduced The Ramones or The Undertones whilst he affected a glazed look of forced jollity at these gatecrashers on Top Of The pops. This was to say nothing of those like Magazine, The Clash and The Gang Of Four who refused to go on TOTP because it ran counter to their principles, oh,,,, and they thought it was shit!
Then came the great wave of Avant-pop in the early Eighties, from ABC and The Associates, to the likes of Heaven 17 and Talking Heads, once and forever punks working in primary colours, but informed by a romantic excitement that pop music could be more than just wall paper, a collective revolution, that culminated in the glory that was Frankie Goes To Hollywood. A little more downbeat but equally vital was the 2-Tone surge, headed by The Specials and their three minute, monochrome studies in social realism.
Economic boom years tend to be indifferent pop years, and so it proved to be in the mid Eighties before the recession hit late Eighties-early-Nineties brought a crop of disaffected insurgents over the wall: The Happy Mondays, Primal Scream, The Stone Roses, all ripped to the tits on Punk, Rave and Acid, as well as the likes of Sued, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Sonic Youth, The Jesus And Mary Chain, The Manics, Dinosaur Jnr, Radiohead and The Pixies, each beneficiaries of the reinvention of Rock in the late Eighties, later came Britpop with its occasional moments of nation uniting magnificence such as Pulps Common People.
But this isnt merely about the crossover successes. Many of the Bands I've mentioned didnt even chart. But they moved the world at a deeper more seismic level nonetheless, in terms of their power and influence and, later, reputation. See Lee Perry, Wire, The Fall! Primal Screams Higher Than The Sun failed to breach the top 30 in 1991, but now who remembers the fluff that kept it at bay that week, Chesney fucking Hawkes, Sonia? So what? Even New Orders Blue Monday never made it to the coveted number one spot. Yet it was one of the best selling 12 singles of all time in the long term.
This is about records and bands that rocked the world not those that popped the world. This is sternly anti-kitsch, no Bee Gees, no ABBA, no Spice Girls, no Madonna even - and certainly none of that big boisterous blank, Robbie Williams. Drawn as we increasingly are to the gawking vortex of celebrity, you have to snap your fingers to remind yourself that for all their zillions, people like Williams are not actually happening, that their cultural, historic impact is, like that of the Osmonds, nil.
This is about what did happen and what soundtracked those pivotal events of peoples lives, the music that left these scorch marks is still smouldering, this is the music that is in danger of being written out by those potted TV retro-histories of pop, in which the Seventies mean Elton John and Queen, the Eighties Live Aid and the Nineties, more Elton John and Queen. Of course by saying this Im not installing myself as some kind of self-appointed monitor of cool,,,, no, rather regard this as the tip of an undoubted iceberg.
This is about the music of our very own, very recent times. And. It. Is. Gigantic.

Fape x.

Smashing the Pasty


For those of you who aren't from the northern hinterlands of Novo Castria, there's a phrase doing the rounds at the moment which goes along the lines of "I'd love to smash her pasty in", it's basically a loving tribute to the act of lovemaking and a celebration of the perfect form of female genitalia.

The fact that Christopher Biggins sees fit to comment on Ms Katona's MTV funded Designer Vagina is beyond sublime...


Also, to crowbar some form of musical content into this post...
You may have seen the heavily publicised video of Ms Katonas substance related meltdown on This morning, but have you seen this older video of "our Kerry" on GMTV?
Gurn? CHECK! Gibberish CHECK! Wild eyed Narcotic Mania? CHECK! White Marks round Nostrils? THANK GOD FOR THE MAKEUP DEPARTMENT...


Finding that video reminds me of when you're introduced to a current band or artist, only to find that their earlier output was as good, if not better.

Take for example loving Vangelis, and then discovering his earlier band... Aphrodites Child (with fellow beardy greek Demis Roussos!)



I was going to put up more info on Vangelis' earlier prog incarnation "Aphrodites Child" but bugger it, your big kids, use wikipedia!

Big thanks to Neil Scott for the pasty update.

That is all


Monday, 17 November 2008



Welcome to our blog.

We've created this online ego-stroke to both promote our regular Tourist parties (starting this Friday) and because we're in love with the look of our own typing.

We're gonna do our best to keep the page interesting, with a bit more than the usual up-front blogisphere content.

You can hopefully expect a regular mix of erm... mixes from both our featured Club guests and our residents, as well as any articles which we see fit to print, regardless of relevance.

As mentioned above, our first party takes place this Friday in Newcastle (UK) at The Cosmic Ballrom, featuring...


Our regular Residents include

Geoff Leopard (BlackMagik, Nice)
Broken Hookers (Are People Real, Polaroid)
Fape Sta (Slash & Burn)

To celebrate the our birth, he's a wealth of mixes provided by both our residents and our headliners...





ANTONY DALY, Nude Risk 0

FAPESTA, IndieBalearica

That should be enough to keep you going